


tell kihyun he's an asshole

by beta_babelfish



Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: (listen i've been waiting to tag this that for my whole life), Alternate Universe - Coffee Shops & Cafés, Domestic Fluff, M/M, Neighbors, it's kihyuk what do you expect, petty bickering, shitheads to lovers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-21
Updated: 2019-01-16
Packaged: 2019-08-27 04:26:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 25,150
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16695412
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/beta_babelfish/pseuds/beta_babelfish
Summary: Minhyuk -If you’re reading this, it means that I didn’t magically gain better judgement at the last second and give the housesitting job to Hoseok instead. Congrats, I guess.Anyway, here’s some of the basic stuff I want you to do while you’re here.1. Please don’t let the dirty dishes pile up. Dishwashing soap is under the sink, it’s very obvious, please use it.2. Tell Kihyun he’s an assholeOr, Minhyuk house-sits for Hyungwon and becomes acquainted with his asshole neighbor.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This fic was inspired by a story that my dad told that actually happened an uncle of mine - I'm pretty sure he didn't intend for it to be turned into the premise of a Kpop fanfiction, but here we are.
> 
> Special thanks to crossroadsdog for beta-ing and being 10x funnier than I am
> 
> Enjoy!

Minhyuk shows up to Hyungwon’s house with his stuff haphazardly thrown into his backpack, a massive duffle bag, and a shit-eating grin.

“You’re late,” Hyungwon says, ushering him in the door.

“That’s Hoseok’s fault, he drove me,” Minhyuk says, waving his hand dismissively as he sweeps into the house.

“You say that, but I can’t help but wonder how much of it is ‘Hoseok was late’ and how much is ‘Hoseok showed up on time but you weren’t ready and now you’re blaming Hoseok, who is _so kind_ as to chauffer us around-”

Before Hyungwon can finish, Minhyuk is sufficiently distracted by the excited collie that had bounded into the room. “Kkukkungie!” Minhyuk squeals, and immediately drops down to lavish the dog with love and attention.

Hyungwon stares at him for a moment before snorting and rolling his eyes. “I should have known you agreed to watch my house for my dog and not because of our years of friendship,” Hyungwon sighs dramatically, dragging his own suitcases to the still-open doorway.

Minhyuk grins, carefully angling his face away from the dog’s excited kisses. “Aw, Hyungwon, you know me so well!” he says cheerily. Hyungwon, somehow, rolls his eyes even more dramatically.

 “Just don’t burn my house down and I’ll take it,” he says, “Anyway, since you’re _late,_ I can’t really stay long or I’ll miss my flight. You know the drill, yeah?”

 “Considering that Jooheon and I basically lived here this summer, yes, I know where you keep your food,” Minhyuk replies, now lying sprawled on the floor with the dog jumping enthusiastically on his chest.

 “Yeah, okay, I wrote an instruction list and left it on the counter.” Hyungwon says, letting an affectionate grin break across his face. “Also please, please don’t throw any crazy parties without me here, I _know_ you won’t clean up after yourself and I don’t want to find rotten pizza under my couch when I get home.”

 “Can I throw parties that aren’t crazy? Does Jooheon count as a party? You’re leaving me with _so_ many loopholes -”

 “I suppose I can’t stop you, can I,” Hyungwon sighs. “I’m just going to leave now.”

 “Hyungwoooonnnn I love you with my whole giant heart and will not do anything you wouldn’t do in your beautiful house that you bought with all your bougie model money-”

 “It is _not_ bougie, I do _not_ want to pay for whatever stupid shit you break-”

 “You can trust meeeeeeeee-”

 Hyungwon sighs heavily. “I’ve made a horrible mistake, haven’t I.”

 “Nope!” Minhyuk says brightly, now scratching the dog’s ears from the floor. “I’m your bestest friend and I’m going to take fantastic care of Kkukkungie and you’re going to go on your bougie model trip for a whole two weeks while I crash in your house and eat all of your food.”

 Hyungwon shakes his head, but can’t hide the small grin tugging at the corner of his mouth. “Whatever, as long as I come back and still have a house I’ll take it. Anyway -” he says, hoisting his giant suitcase outside the doorframe, “I have a plane to catch, and for god’s sake please read over the note in the kitchen. Very important information and all that.”

 Minhyuk finally extracts himself from the dog’s love and launches himself at Hyungwon, wrapping him up in a giant hug. Hyungwon, the twig that he is, stumbles back a bit at being tackled with the full force of an affectionate Minhyuk, but after regaining his balance he laughs and hugs him back. “I’ll miss you,” Minhyuk mumbles. “Don’t decide that you like New York better and leave us forever.”

 “I won’t do that,” Hyungwon says, patting Minhyuk’s head. “That is, unless you burn my house down.”

 Minhyuk extracts himself and grins. “Say hi to the human Changkyun while you’re there, yeah? I’ll have my hands full taking care of the dog one, I’m sure.”

 Hyungwon snorts. “God, it sounds so weird when you put it like that.”

 “That’s because it _is_ weird, idiot. Who the fuck names their dog after their crush?”

 “It’s a _nickname_ , and a perfectly acceptable name for a dog, thank you very much.” Hyungwon says defensively. “He’ll have to deal in any case, the dog won’t respond to anything else now. But also, I _actually_ need to leave now if I want to make my flight on time, so I’ll see you in two weeks. Please, for the love of God, don’t forget to check the note I left, it’s got important information and whatnot and I would prefer you don’t die.”

 “I’m not going to die, oh my _god_ ,” Minhyuk whines, but nonetheless he hugs Hyungwon one last time before waving as Hyungwon takes his place in Hoseok’s car, still idling in the driveway. Hoseok gives Minhyuk a thumbs up (to which Minhyuk responds with an even more enthusiastic wave) before pulling out of the driveway and cruising down the street, around the corner, and finally disappearing from view heading towards the airport.

 Of course, the moment it vanishes from sight, Minhyuk spins around and goes directly back to lavishing love on Hyungwon’s dog.

 Two whole weeks with Hyungwon’s house all to himself - he wouldn’t admit it aloud (especially not to his roommate) but he’s been looking forward to this day for way, way too long. He loves living with Jooheon, he really does (hence him being his consistent roommate for the entirety of undergrad), but Hyungwon’s house was just _nicer._

 And had a better sound system and video game setup, but that was beside the point.

 After giving Kkukkungie the love he deserves, Minhyuk finally makes his way to the interior of the house to drop off his stuff into Hyungwon’s guest bedroom before padding to the kitchen to check out this note that Hyungwon told him about.

 As promised, it sat on the kitchen counter, folded neatly with “for Minhyuk, don’t wreck my house” scrawled on it in Hyungwon’s messy handwriting.

 

_Minhyuk -_

_If you’re reading this, it means that I didn’t magically gain better judgement at the last second and give the housesitting job to Hoseok instead. Congrats, I guess._

_Anyway, you have my number and can call me anytime, but in case the time zones don’t line up right and I’m sleeping or something, here’s some of the basic stuff I want you to do while you’re here._

_1. Please don’t let the dirty dishes pile up. Dishwashing soap is under the sink, it’s very obvious, please use it._

_2\. Tell Kihyun he’s an asshole_

_3\. I sketched a map to the nearest bus station on the back, please try not to get lost going to school and work and shit_

_4\. Kkukkungie ONLY needs to be fed twice a day, don’t listen to his whining_

_5\. Dog food is on the top shelf and needs to stay there, don’t put it any lower or he WILL find a way to get to it_

_6\. IF you throw parties in my house (and that’s a big IF my dude) please clean up after yourself. Please, I’m begging you._

 

 The list continues on for considerably longer after that - to Minhyuk’s amusement, Hyungwon seems to want him to keep the place spotless (despite Minhyuk knowing for a fact that Hyungwon barely left it in livable condition under normal circumstances). He continues skimming the note, scratching the dog’s head idly as he does so, but his eyes kept being drawn back to number 2.

  1. _Tell Kihyun he’s an asshole_



Minhyuk is more than happy to annoy his friends and even people who weren’t his friends, and absolutely _delighted_ to call them assholes.

 But that still left a bit of a problem.

 .....He has no idea who the fuck Kihyun is.

 He had his phone out to text Hyungwon before he thought better of it ( _7\. Please for the love of god try to make it 24 hours before blowing up my phone with dumb shit_ ) and decides instead that now is as good a time as any to raid Hyungwon’s cupboard and hijack his sound system.

 The mystery that is Kihyun can be solved later.

* * *

 

**8:42pm wonnie**

hey made it to the first layover alive

did you settle in ok and all that jazz

**Minhyuk :D**

yeeeeep!

and did all the boring things u wanted me to do lol

**wonnie**

i’m 99 percent sure u just spent a whole hour petting my dog

and now you’re hijacking my video game system

am i right or am i right

**Minhyuk :D**

whaaaaaaaat me?

spending a whole hour of sixty (60) minutes petting Kkukkungie?

my precious son who deserves the whole world?

**wonnie**

so what you’re saying is i’m right

**Minhyuk :D**

lol no it was ACTUALLY only 40 minutes ;))))

now i’m blasting music on ur sound system

AND hijacking your video games

AT THE SAME TIME

**wonnie**

dear god

I should have just asked hoseok

he can be trusted

if you get the cops called on my house with a noise complaint i’m suing

**Minhyuk :D**

ya but hoseok also won’t leave his rabbits alone we know this

**wonnie**

shit ur right

did u read the note i left at least

**Minhyuk :D**

yah

do you seriously have so little faith in me that you had to physically write down “stay alive”

**wonnie**

yes

also eat your vegetables

**Minhyuk :D**

goddddd don’t even PRETEND that you do half this shit while you’re here

i’m not a BABY

but actually

i do have a question about the list

who the FUCK is kihyun

**wonnie**

you’ll find out soon enough

**Minhyuk :D**

excellent, super cryptic, thank you

that was sarcasm btw that told me nothing

now tell meeeeeeeeeeeeee

**wonnie**

nah

leaving you hanging is much more fun

**Minhyuk :D**

:(

**wonnie**

anyway

I want to get some food before the next flight starts boarding

if i get a text saying you burned my house down when i land i’m going to come directly back and murder you on the spot

**Minhyuk :D**

IM NOT GONNA BURN DOWN YOUR FUKIN HOUSE

byeeeeeeee stay alive ;)

<33333333

 

Minhyuk tosses his phone aside, then gives Kkukkungie a well deserved scratch (what can he say, the dog always deserves scratches, no matter what. That’s just the law). He’s no closer to solving the mystery of Kihyun, but Minhyuk is nothing if not persistent. If Hyungwon won’t tell him, he’ll figure it out himself.

 Or annoy Hyungwon until he gives up and tells him. Whichever comes first.

 But that’s beside the point. Now, Minhyuk has an entire house to himself, an affectionate collie to pet, and video games to play, and that’s that.

* * *

 

The next morning, he wakes up to the early morning sunrise shining through the window and a dog whining very insistently in his face.

 Groaning, he sits up, scrubbing the sleep out of his eyes. Upon seeing that he was awake, KKukkungie became even _more_ whiny, pawing at his arm.

  _Fuck._ He’d definitely forgotten to let the dog out last night, and now he was paying for it by being woken up way too early. Who even gets up this early? Functional people? Dogs? Hyungwon?

 Scratch that, definitely not Hyungwon. The man could sleep through pretty much anything if it meant getting his beauty rest.

 Yawning, he dutifully shuffles out of the guest bedroom and spends about two seconds in front of the bathroom mirror to make sure he was halfway presentable before pulling on the first shirt and pants he finds in his duffle bag. Still yawning, he grabs Kkukkungie’s leash ( _10\. KKukkungie’s leash is by the door in the laundry room_ ) and made his way out of the front door, his own alertness nowhere near that of the jumping dog.

 He’s fully aware that his hair is a mess, that his shirt is wrinkled from being unceremoniously stuffed into a duffle bag, but he’s got pants on and that’s what matters. Not like anyone’s going to be awake at this hour on a Saturday to judge him, right?

 He’s barely down the driveway when he’s proven wrong.

 “Hey! What are you doing with my neighbor’s dog?”

 Minhyuk stops. Kkukkungie barks. He turns around.

 Hyungwon’s next door neighbor, apparently, is a dude about his age, with tawny brown hair and sharp eyes, which were now glaring at him with suspicion.

  _He’s kinda cute_ , Minhyuk’s gremlin brain helpfully supplies, before Minhyuk snaps out of it and replies with an incredibly witty, “I’m house-sitting while he’s away, _for your information._ Why the fuck are you awake this early?”

 Neighbor Guy squints at him suspiciously. “House-sitter, sure. Besides, it’s 8am, it’s hardly _that_ early in the morning.”

 “I’m a disaster grad student, let me _live_ ,” Minhyuk whines. “I would _never_ be awake this early if Kkukkungie didn’t wake me up, cut me some slack.”

 “Did you let the dog out last night?”

 Minhyuk opens his mouth to respond angrily, then closes it sheepishly. “...No.”

 The neighbor _tsks_ at him, looking him over disapprovingly. “First day on the job and you’re already neglecting the dog, unbelievable. No wonder he woke you up so early.”

 “Hey there, fuck off!” Minhyuk bristles defensively. “I love Kkukkungie with my whole heart and I just _happened_ to fall asleep too early, I take _very good care of him._ ”

 “You just told me you forgot to let him out last night.” A smug grin was creeping its way onto the neighbor’s face.

 “And I’m taking him out right now, aren’t I? Even getting up early for it and everything-”

 Neighbor Guy huffs. “You were _just_ complaining about waking up too early for this.”

 “Stop using my own words against me, _asshole,_ and point me in the direction of the park that Hyungwon told me about.”

 The neighbor shakes his head, but nonetheless points down the road. “Down that way, turn left at the first fork, and keep going till you get to the park. Don’t get lost or do something stupid.”

 “I cannot _believe_ that you think I’d do something stupid despite you only knowing me for five seconds-”

 “Oh my god, _go_.” Neighbor Guy complains. He starts waving his hands at Minhyuk, as if to shoo him off. “Go before I have to run you over with my car or something, _God_.”

 “Fine!” Minhyuk throws his hands up in surrender, grinning cheekily. “But don’t think I won’t be back to annoy you, asshole.”

 “Do you usually make a habit of calling complete strangers assholes?”

 “Nope! But I do make a habit out of calling random people who threaten to call the cops on me and say I’m a bad dog dad assholes!”

 Minhyuk hears the other man curse under his breath and immediately makes a beeline to the direction the park is in before he can actually fistfight him (which Minhyuk did not doubt he would be willing to do - even if Hyungwon’s neighbor was kinda short, he looked ready to fight by the end of their conversation). “Byeeeee I’ll see you never!” He calls over his shoulder, just to be cheeky.

 “Fuck off!” He hears the neighbor shout behind him, and chuckles as he continues on his way to the park.

 Hyungwon’s weird neighbor (Minhyuk really should have asked his name) may be a prissy bitch, but he did actually point him in the right direction. Kkukkungie seems to sense where they are, pulling harder and harder on the leash until Minhyuk gave in and ran with him, a sprinting dog dragging him towards the park.

 He knows that he probably looks ridiculous with the dog pulling him like this, but he doesn’t really mind. And when they get there, the park is _enormous_ \- Minhyuk relinquishes control and just lets Kkukkungie pull him wherever he wants to go, whether it be down a narrow side path, to stand by a bush while the dog sniffs it for a full ten minutes, or whatever else suits Kkukkungie’s fancy _._

 The fresh air is nice - while living with Jooheon, Minhyuk tends to get wrapped up with grad school work and the two of them usually end up cooped up together for hours at a time, taking breaks only to venture to the nearby convenience store for snacks or to play a round or two of whatever video game suits their fancy.

 Actually, this is the first time for almost four years that Minhyuk will be spending an extended period of time without Jooheon constantly accompanying him everywhere. He told himself that it’ll be nice to have some time to himself, but in all honesty it already felt a little odd to not have his roommate by his side.

 But that was beside the point. Right now he had a dog to take care of (and a new neighbor to annoy, his brain helpfully supplies) and an entire house to himself. The next two weeks were going to be _fantastic_.

* * *

 

Minhyuk’s phone was still at Hyungwon’s house.

 He’d been playing with Kkukkungie at the park for about an hour and a half - so sue him, he had the day off and he needed the sunshine - and had decided it was time to head back to Hyungwon’s house and go back to video games.

 Except now they are on the opposite side of the park where they entered - far from the familiar streets that Minhyuk still vaguely remembers how to navigate.

 And his phone, with his _GPS_ , are still sitting on the counter where he left it, which Minhyuk realizes with agonizing vividness when he reaches for his pocket and finds it empty.

 Well, fuck.

 Minhyuk gazes mournfully at the drowsy Kkukkungie at his feet, who seems adequately worn out after the morning spent bounding after squirrels and stray leaves. “I don’t suppose you know how to get us back, huh?”

 Kkukkungie looks at him for a moment, pants, then lays his head back down on the grass. Minhyuk huffs a laugh. “I suppose that was a long shot, anyway.”

 That still leaves them with no way to get home. Minhyuk resorts to squinting at the street signs and desperately wracking his brain for any offhand mentions that Hyungwon may have made about this particular street, this neighborhood, _anything_ , considering that his note was frustratingly vague on the matter ( _12\. There’s a park not far down the street, you can take Kkukkungie there when he’s got too much energy in his tiny dog body_ ).

 He’s decided to revert to hitchhiking (or at least asking for directions, maybe? - except he feels a drop of dread in his stomach when he realizes that he doesn’t even have Hyungwon’s _address_ memorized because he’s an idiot and a fool and oh god he’s going to die in this park) when a car pulls up next to him on the side of the street.

 Minhyuk is ready to cry tears of relief and beg his savior to bring him back to Hyungwon’s and to promise his firstborn child when the owner rolls the window down and says in a dreadfully familiar voice, “Are you lost?”

 Because of course Minhyuk’s rescuer is Hyungwon’s asshole neighbor.

 “Nope,” Minhyuk backpedals immediately - and immediately curses himself because _goddammit this is probably the only person on Earth who can get him where he needs to go right now_.

 Then his pride yells back with _you are not going to ask this asshole to drive you home_ , and somewhere in between these two halves of Minhyuk’s brain screaming at each other, the other man must have figured out that he was bullshitting him because the next word out of his mouth was -

 “Bullshit.” Neighbor Guy seems to be just as bad at controlling his expressions as Minhyuk is, because his face was almost trembling with the effort to maintain a straight face.

 Minhyuk huffs, drawing himself up to his full height (he may not be built like Hoseok or Hyunwoo but he can fake it, goddammit), saying, extremely wittily, “Maybe so.”

 Neighbor Guy snorts. “You know you can like, use your GPS or something.”

 “See! That would be a fantastic idea! A genius idea, truly, the breakthrough of the generation -”

 “Oh my god, you forgot your phone didn’t you,” Neighbor Guy is _really_ trying not to laugh, but a grin is taking over his face and his eyes turn into little crescents and Minhyuk’s chest feels a little funny, but he decides to ignore it in favor of bristling defensively -

 But before he can say anything in protest, though, Neighbor Guy is unlocking the car doors and gesturing for him to get in, saying “Come on, then. The dog can go in the backseat.”

 And that’s how Minhyuk ends up riding home with the guy he called an asshole that morning. Figures.

 “I don’t think I got your name when you were calling me an asshole earlier,” he says as Minhyuk shuffles into the car, nursing his bruised pride.

 “Lee Minhyuk, housesitter extraordinaire at your service. And what’s your name, asshole?”

 “A housesitter extraordinaire that forgets to let out the dog at night? A legend, truly.” Neighbor Guy says, amused. “Yoo Kihyun, by the way.”

 It takes a moment for the name to click, but the instant it does Minhyuk can’t stop himself from blurting “Oh, _you’re_ Kihyun!”

 Kihyun starts, giving him an odd look. “Yes? That is my name?”

 “Yeah, and Hyungwon told me to tell you that you’re an asshole,” Minhyuk says. “I’ve already succeeded! Wow, go me.” For good measure, Minhyuk high-fives himself.

 “Hyungwon? My neighbor Hyungwon?”

 “Yeah, who else? How many other Hyungwons do you know?” Minhyuk grins. “He left me a note on the counter with shit like “wash the dishes” and “don’t let the dog die” and in the middle it just said “tell Kihyun he’s an asshole.” Oh man, this is _too_ good.” He pauses, then adds, for good measure, “By the way, you’re an asshole.”

 “Of course he did.” Kihyun rolls his eyes, grumbling. “And of course, he would send another asshole to tell me that I’m an asshole-”

 “Hey! Minhyuk says indignantly. “I was only passing the message along, asshole.”

 “Please,” Kihyun says, a smirk tugging at the side of his mouth. “You didn’t even know who I was until a few minutes ago, and that didn’t stop you from being a bitch this morning.” He pauses, then adds for effect, “Asshole.”

 Minhyuk huffs. He pouts a bit. Then his curiosity gets the better of him and he asks “So what were you out and about doing?”

 “Groceries,” Kihyun says offhandedly. “Trying a new recipe tonight, I found a new chicken recipe online.”

 “You cook?” Minhyuk asks, pretending that his stomach didn’t growl at the mention of food. Did he eat before he left for the walk? He definitely didn’t eat before he left for the walk.

 “You can come over and have some if you want.”

 Minhyuk blinks. Squints. He’s not sure he heard right. “Wait. Are you serious?”

 Kihyun is staring resolutely at the road ahead, and Minhyuk swore that his ears were turning a little pink. “I was rude this morning.” He says, refusing to make eye contact. “I shouldn’t have yelled at you. Or accused you of mishandling the dog, you seem to love him very much even if you did forget to let him out. Even if you are a prick. So I’m offering you dinner as a way to make peace. Consider it charity for the local starving grad student, I guess? Uh...you don’t have to come if you don’t want to.”

 “Uh.” Minhyuk’s not quite sure what to say to that. Didn’t he just call him an asshole a minute ago? “I’ll think about it?”

 “Fair.” Kihyun says. “We’re here, by the way.”

 “Oh!” Minhyuk scrambles out the car door into Hyungwon’s driveway, then opens the door to usher Kkukkungie out. “I’ll see you later? Maybe?”

 “Just knock if you want anything. Probably around 6ish?” Kihyun rubs the back of his neck, looking a bit sheepish. “Um. Anyway. Bye.”

 Minhyuk watches as Kihyun pulls out of the driveway, then turns into the house so he doesn’t watch him all the (admittedly short) way to his own. Staring would probably be weird, right?

 But then again, this is a dude that Minhyuk had called an asshole twice (three times? he lost count) in one day, once before he even knew his _name_ , and he’d just invited him over for dinner.

 What the fuck?

 Minhyuk hears a faint buzz behind him and _oh god, his phone is still on the counter._

 Of course, his friends (mostly Jooheon) seemed to think that silence from him meant that he had died in a ditch or something. He snorts upon seeing the singular message from Hyungwon - _I made it to NY alive, don’t burn down my house_.

 Why does everyone assume he’s going to burn down the house? God, you have _one_ slip-up and nobody ever lets you live it down.

* * *

**11:21am honey boy**

minhyuk

you haven’t responded to me in TWO HOURS

either you’re dead or asleep but i think you’re just ignoring me

traitor

**Minhyuk :D**

rude :(((((

i wasn’t ignoring you!!

i’m just dumb and left my phone here when i took kkukkungie for a walk

**honey boy**

you’re saying words but all i see are lies

leaving me ALL ALONE

in the dark and scary apartment BY MYSELF

**Minhyuk :D**

oh my GODDDDD

you’ve got yoshi and gucci!

ur cute new kittens you can love and cherish

It’s ok i’ll be back after two weeks remember

in the meantime i’ll be enjoying the luxury life in hyungwon’s house

**honey boy**

:(

hyungwon’s house isn’t even that luxurious m8

it just seems like it bc we’re poor

**Minhyuk :D**

shhhhhh let me live my fantasy

i brought five (5) bath bombs with me and i intend to use them

ALSO

you should have seen the note he left me lol

It had like the normal shit on it like walk the dog, don’t burn the house down, etc. etc.

then just in the middle it said “tell kihyun he’s an asshole”

**honey boy**

wtf

who’s kihyun

**Minhyuk :D**

that’s what i said!

except hyungwon didn’t respond bc he was on the plane lol

and also he instructed me to not bother him for a full 24 hours

**honey boy**

$10 says you already failed that

**Minhyuk :D**

oh come on :((((( it’s not a bet if we both already know you won

but yeah it turns out that kihyun is his neighbor

**honey boy**

oh?

ok but like

is he an asshole

**Minhyuk :D**

Y

E

S

like yeah he’s cute but he accused me of stealing kkukkungie!!!

then he accused me of being a bad pet owner :(

so yes i called him an asshole

**honey boy**

.........you think hyungwon’s neighbor is cute

**Minhyuk :D**

what no i don’t

...ok so i have eyes the boy is fine af

but that’s beside the POINT

the point is that Hyungwon told me to tell him that he’s an asshole

so I did

because he’s an asshole

**honey boy**

“what no i don’t” YOU LITERALLY JUST SAID-

...anyway

well done???

I guess????

what did you like introduce yourself and be like “hi you’re an asshole”

**Minhyuk :D**

no

yes

maybe

**honey boy**

christ

can’t leave you alone for a singular day

**Minhyuk :D**

HYUNGWON TOLD ME TO

IT’S NOT MY FAULT KIHYUN’S AN ASSHOLE

ugh in any case

i need to eat something

bye bitch

**honey boy**

bye loser

don’t get yourself murdered

**Minhyuk :D**

why does nobody trust me to survive on my own :(

**honey boy**

bc you have the survival skills of a bubble-eye goldfish

**Minhyuk :D**

:(

* * *

 

Minhyuk wasn’t planning on going over to Kihyun’s. He really wasn’t.

 But Hyungwon seemed to survive mostly off of instant meals and takeout, if the long list of restaurant phone numbers on the refrigerator and the dismal interior of his cupboards are any indication. Minhyuk stares forlornly into the cupboard for a long minute before sighing and turning to Kkukkungie, who tilted his head in curiosity.

 “Wanna go annoy our neighbor?”

* * *

 

 

Kihyun blinks at him when he opens the door. “I admit, I didn’t really expect you to show up.” he says, stepping aside to let him in.

 “Yeah, me neither,” Minhyuk says, breezing past him into the house. He takes in his surroundings - Kihyun’s house is remarkably neater and more tastefully decorated than Hyungwon’s is, but Minhyuk can’t help but take note of a number of things here or there - namely, what was clearly a game system (that piques his interest quite a bit) and the drifting, delicious smell of the chicken recipe Kihyun made for dinner in the air. “But I also was expressly told by Hyungwon that it’s my job to annoy you, so I’m here to do just that”.

 Kihyun seems a bit taken off guard that he brought the dog, and eyes him warily. "He’s not going to mess anything up, is he?” He asks skeptically. “Nah, he’s super well trained,” Minhyuk says dismissively, leaning down to unhook the leash without waiting to ask for permission.

 Kihyun looks like he’s about to protest for a moment, but visibly melts when Kkukkungie bounces over to him, wagging his tail happily. In all of one second, Kihyun’s uptight asshole facade breaks and he squats down and starts _cooing_ at the dog.

 Minhyuk’s chest feels funny again. He ignores it.

* * *

 

 

Dinner was fried chicken - Kihyun claimed it to be a specialty of his.

 Minhyuk had decided to make it his goal to criticize the meal to hell and back, but to his disappointment Kihyun’s cooking was near perfect. Delicious. _Infuriatingly_ delicious.

 Not that that was going to stop him, though.

 “How is it?” Kihyun asks, after they’ve settled and tucked in.

 Minhyuk swallows the comically large bite he’d taken and says, “Terrible. Awful. The worst.”

 “That so?” Kihyun says, raising an eyebrow and watching Minhyuk take another massive bite.

 “Yeah,” Minhyuk says, his voice muffled from the food in his mouth. “The....the bake is all wrong and the...seasons. The seasons are bad. Yes.”

 “The bake is wrong. The bake of this fried chicken.”

 “...Yes.”

 “And the seasons are bad. So you’re saying the chicken is autumn and I should have made it spring?” Kihyun is making a valiant effort to maintain a straight face.

 Minhyuk, fully aware that he has dug his grave and now had to lie in it, replies, “Yes. Exactly. For shame,” before shoving another chunk of chicken into his mouth.

 “I’ll try to make it summer next time.”

 Minhyuk nods sagely. “That would be a step in the right direction, yes.”

 “So the fact that your plate is completely clean means nothing?” Kihyun asks innocently.

 Minhyuk freezes, looking down at what is, as Kihyun said, a completely empty plate. He stares at it for a moment. Looks at Kihyun. Looks back at his plate.

 Kihyun raises a single eyebrow.

 Minhyuk clears his throat and raises his chin defiantly. “It means nothing at all.”

 “Great, so you can start on the dishes then-”

 Minhyuk sputters indignantly. “Now wait _just a minute_ -”

 “I’m _kidding_ ,” Kihyun says, at last allowing a full grin to break out over his face. “Mostly, anyway. If you want to volunteer you are more than welcome, but you’re not obligated to.”

 Despite having already done what he came here to do (namely, eat Kihyun’s food and annoy him), Minhyuk finds himself not quite willing to leave. So he stays.

 Minhyuk spends far too much time prying into Kihyun’s personal life - it takes money to be able to have your own house in this neighborhood, money that Hyungwon got from his gig as a model.

 He wants to know how Kihyun got here, and it turns out that Kihyun’s a photographer, both prestigious and skilled in it. He shows him his Instagram account. Minhyuk waits until he’s not watching, then follows it.

 (The pictures are beautiful.)

  _So is the photographer_ , his brain helpfully supplies. Minhyuk tells his brain to shut the fuck up.

 He also ignores the small swell of something like _pride_ he feels, scrolling through the photos. He’s just met the man today, god damn it.

 Minhyuk trades him (read: talks Kihyun’s ear off) with stories about his own life as they clean up the dishes. He tells him about Jooheon and how they met in freshman year of undergrad, rooming together every year following, all of the stupid, _stupid_ shit their group of friends got up to (Minhyuk spends plenty of time lavishly detailing the Pudding Incident), and how he and Jooheon stick together even through grad school.

 Grad school is a bitch, Minhyuk tells him very seriously.

 Kihyun hums in acknowledgement or agreement, drying a cutting board. ‘What’re you going to school for?”

 “Teaching,” Minhyuk says, then launches into a lengthy description of his dream future - teaching elementary school kids, owning five dogs, moving into a cute apartment with his future husband - Kihyun blinks at the “husband” part, but Minhyuk’s too busy describing what kind of dogs he wants to care.

 “I want at least two small ones, like a Maltese or a Schitzu,” he says very seriously, scrubbing down the plates and handing them to Kihyun to dry. “And then I’d like one medium-sized. Still small enough to sit in my lap, mind you, that part is very important -”

 “Like Kkukkungie?” Kihyun suggests, dutifully drying the plates and putting them away. There’s something almost domestic about it, and Minhyuk’s chest squeezes again in an odd way. “He’s probably the best-behaved dog I’ve ever met. I honestly might kidnap him. Save him from you, maybe.”

 “Har, har. Hyungwon may be a lazy son of a bitch, but he takes good care of him. Probably because he’s got a massive crush on the guy he named him after.”

 Kihyun chokes and sputters over the pan he’s holding. “He what now?”

 “Oh, you need to hear this story,” Minhyuk grins manically, and launches into the dramatic tale, complete with waving hands that had Kihyun dodging soap suds: meeting Changkyun (on exchange from the US) in undergrad; Hyungwon’s development of a massive crush he was in total denial about; the teasing and prodding from everyone in their circle for the entire semester. And then Minhyuk and Jooheon were the best friends ever and told him to suck it the fuck up and ask him out, but Hyungwon never did and then Changkyun moved back to the United States and isn’t it _tragic -_

 “Do I have permission to hold this over Hyungwon’s head when he gets back?” Kihyun asks. They’ve more or less cleaned the entirely of the kitchen by now - all they were doing was loitering in the kitchen and talking.

 “Is anything I say going to stop you?”  
  
“Absolutely not.”

“Then you have full permission.”

 “ _Excellent_. Serves him right for keeping me awake with his stupid fuckin parties.”

 “Speaking of parties,” Minhyuk says, pointing to the Xbox. “What games do you have on there, by the way?”

 “Lots, but I’ve been playing GTA a lot recently.”

 And, well. That’s the rest of the evening, well into the night, spent at Kihyun’s house.

 And if Minhyuk leaves with Kihyun’s number, well. That’s that.

* * *

 

**Minhyuk :D 1:10am**

wonniiieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

how’s new yooooooooooooooooooork

**wonnie**

New York is New York

Big, loud, doesn’t let me sleep as much as I want

also why the fuck are you awake

**Minhyuk :D**

don’t ask questions

I figured out who kihyun is btw

he is an asshole

an asshole who betrayed me in GTA

can you BELIEVE

**wonnie**

.......I

ok that sentence carries the implication that

you played

GTA with him???

why are you interacting with my neighbor???

**Minhyuk :D**

you’re the one who told me to tell him that he’s an asshole!

just following orders ;)))

**wonnie**

the winky face makes me uncomfortable

you do realize that you can just like

yell at him from my front porch

that’s what i do

**Minhyuk :D**

That’s no fun D:

Wonnie listen he’s a trip

he lines up his cars in color order in GTA

he’s a neat freak too

**wonnie**

minhyuk

How much time, exactly, have you been spending with my neighbor

**Minhyuk :D**

I mean

he invited me over for dinner?

**wonnie**

he fucking what now

**Minhyuk :D**

It’s not what you think!!!!!

he called it “charity for the local starving grad student” the dickhead

plus you only have like, ramen in the house

i was starving, hyungwon

**wonnie**

you can’t eat all my food if i ate it all already, bitch

ANYWAY

I don’t have words for this

if you end up fucking my neighbor i swear to GOD

**Minhyuk :D**

oh my god NO

noooooo it’s not like that omg

he’s just fun to mess with!!!!

plus you know how i am lmao

if i wanted to fuck him i would have done it already

**wonnie**

yes i am aware that you are Lee “sees a guy for 5 seconds and decides he’s in love” Minhyuk

i’m not letting you off the hook though

**Minhyuk :D**

hey speaking of not crushes

have you had the chance to talk to Changkyun while you’re in the states ;))))

**wonnie**

i’ve

considered it

i doubt he wants to see me though

don’t change the subject

**Minhyuk :D**

hyungwon are you fucking serious

we literally facetime him every other day

he gets all whiny and like “you’re making me miss you guys waaahhhh”

OF COURSE HE REMEMBERS YOU

**wonnie**

.....ugh

fine i’ll ask him if

i don’t know boston’s kinda far from NY

**Minhyuk :D**

JUST ASK OH MY GOD

also you’re a liar

i just googled it and there’s definitely a train SPECIFICALLY FOR THAT COMMUTE

**wonnie**

...fine

i’ll CONSIDER IT

only if you promise to not do any nasty shit in my house with my asshole neighbor

**Minhyuk :D**

I’M NOT GONNA DO ANYTHING WITH KIHYUN

**wonnie**

and you give me shit for denial lmao

* * *

**Minhyuk :D 1:31am**

hey ki

wanna hear about hyungwon’s next level denial he just pulled on me

**kihyun**

fuck yes

let me live vicariously through my neighbor’s dumbassery

**Minhyuk :D**

excellent

I knew there was a reason i liked you ;)

asshole ;)

**kihyun**

just tell me the drama dickhead

i’m getting the popcorn and everything

**Minhyuk :D**

ok

so

* * *

 

By the time Minhyuk finishes filling Kihyun in on the latest development and wishes him a good night (and making sure to call him an asshole at least one more time - gotta stay on brand), the clock reads 3am, much to his dismay. He can’t say it wasn’t worth it, though - even if Kihyun is absolutely an asshole, he’s one of the fun assholes that are Minhyuk’s absolute favorite to mess with. 

Work was going to be hell tomorrow, though. He’ll deal with that once he gets there.

* * *

 

“You look like a fucking zombie,” Jooheon says when Minhyuk shows up to work the next morning.

 “I feel like one,” Minhyuk groans. “I was up till like 3am, give me a break. And some espresso.”

 It’s a quaint little coffee shop they work in - their mutual friend Hyunwoo started it up after he graduated in between his gigs as a professional dancer (“You’ve got like, the weirdest combination of jobs ever,” Minhyuk had told him. Hyunwoo just shrugged).

 How Minhyuk and Jooheon managed to convince Hyunwoo to not only hire them, but hire _both_ of them at the same time, _and_ to put them on the same shifts as often as he does...well, actually, the reason is that Hyunwoo is very susceptible to bribery, especially when it comes to his favorite foods.

 “Make your own espresso,” Jooheon shoots back at him. “What were you even _doing_ , hijacking Hyungwon’s video game system?”

 “Hijacking his neighbor’s, actually,” Minhyuk says nonchalantly, getting to work on his espresso. Or his five espressos. Maybe mix in some syrups? He hasn’t decided yet.

 Jooheon does a double take. “Excuse me, what?”

 “Yeah, remember the whole “tell Kihyun he’s an asshole” thing? How Kihyun is actually Hyungwon’s neighbor? I kinda didn’t mention this but he invited me over for dinner.”

 “He fucking what now?”

 “He invited me over for dinner. I know, earth-shattering.” Minhyuk says. “Anyway I went over and turns out he’s a pretty solid cook, then he talked my ear off about being a photographer, then I talked his ear off about my dream of having five dogs, and then we played GTA till 1am, then Hyungwon pulled some denial shit and I gossiped about it over text with Kihyun till like 3am and then I passed out.”

 Jooheon’s eyes, while Minhyuk told the story, got progressively narrower and narrower. “You mean to tell me that Hyungwon’s neighbor _invited you over for dinner_ and he didn’t kick you out after you talked his ear off?”

 “Yeah, that’s pretty much exactly what I’m saying.” Minhyuk says nonchalantly. He’s settled for three espressos and is now contemplating the array of flavored syrups in front of him.

 “Minhyuk, I’m going to need you to be very, very honest with me right now.” Jooheon grabs Minhyuk’s shoulders and turns him around, forcing Minhyuk to look him directly in the eyes. Minhyuk raises a single eyebrow. “Did you fuck Hyungwon’s neighbor?”

 “What the fuck, no!” Minhyuk sputters, wrenching himself out of Jooheon’s grasp. “Listen, Jooheon, you’re my best friend and I love you, but _no._ He’s a _dick._ ”

 “Hasn’t stopped you before.”

 “Okay, fuck, no, I’m not into him like that, okay? Like, yeah he’s nice to talk to and fun to annoy but that doesn’t mean anything.” Minhyuk raises his head resolutely. “And it _isn’t_ going to mean anything. He’s Hyungwon’s shithead neighbor and I’m going to annoy the fuck out of him, and that’s _all_.”

 Jooheon considers him for a moment, then rolls his eyes. “Sounds fake, but I’ll take your word for it for now. Does Hyungwon know that you’re friends with the neighbor?”

 “We’re not friends.” Minhyuk says firmly. “He’s a shithead and I annoy him.”

 “Right. So does Hyungwon know that you’re annoying his neighbor in a definitely not-friendly way?”

 “God, that makes it sound _worse._ Yes, he does, I told him that I’m fulfilling his request to tell Kihyun he’s an asshole.”

 Jooheon huffs. “Okay yeah, but did you tell him about the dinner thing?”

 “Yes.” Minhyuk frowns. “He told me not to fuck him. Why does everyone assume I want to fuck him?”

 “Because you’re Lee Minhyuk and we know you.” Jooheon snorts. “Besides, you clearly don’t hate him as much as you say you do because you went and had _dinner_ with him at his _house,_ and you _also_ openly admitted that you think he’s cute, so of _course_ we’re suspicious.”

 “Well, don’t be.” Minhyuk says firmly. “It’s a one time thing, I’ll stick to calling him a prissy asshole and ignoring him from now on.”  
  
“Minhyuk, is that you?” a familiar voice says behind them.

 Because of course.

  _Of course_ Yoo Kihyun would show up at the coffee shop he works at.

 Minhyuk takes a deep, deep breath. Then he turns around and pastes the most obnoxious version of his Customer Service smile on his face. “Hello! Welcome to Spotlight Cafe. What can I get for you? Would you like the gremlin special?”

 And there he is, Yoo Kihyun, the man himself. He frowns at Minhyuk. “You didn’t mention that you work in a coffee shop.”

 “Oh, come on, you didn’t even _respond_ to my beautifully thought out insults-”

 “Wait, Minhyuk, do you know this guy?” Jooheon appears, looking curiously at Kihyun.

 “He’s housesitting for my neighbor,” Kihyun says offhandedly. Jooheon gasps.

 “Oh, _you’re_ Kihyun!”

 “Why does everyone keep saying that to me,” Kihyun sighs. “People keep knowing who I am before I even know who they are. Did Hyungwon ask you to tell me I’m an asshole, too?”

 “Nope! I’ll leave that to Minhyuk. He’s getting paid for it.” Jooheon says, grinning. He turns to go back to the coffee machines, and as he does he whispers in Minhyuk’s ear, “You’re right, he is cute.”

 “Fuck off, Jooheon,” Minhyuk shoots back. He turns back to Kihyun, who is looking amused.

 “So that’s Jooheon?” He asks, taking a seat on one of the barstools.

 “Yeah, the one and only. Roommate extraordinaire, prime annoyance, platonic soulmate Lee Jooheon. Do you want to order a coffee?” Minhyuk says, grinning and propping his elbows on the counter.

 “How did you two manage to end up working in the same place and not get yourselves fired? Also, a latte would be great.”

 “The owner was basically our dad in college and he hired us. We haven’t set the place on fire yet, so I think we’re doing pretty good at the ‘not getting fired’ thing so far. Hot or iced?”

 “Hot. Oh yeah, the owner is Hyunwoo, right? I actually stopped in to say hi to him, I did some photography work with his dance crew last week.”

 “You know Hyunwoo?” Minhyuk says, his finger pausing from where he was busily punching in Kihyun’s order. “Huh, small world. I kinda assumed you lived in your house with your plants and no friends like a hermit or something.”

 Kihyun rolls his eyes. “I have _work_ , you know. Photography involves dealing with people. I have a social circle.”

 “Clients don’t count as friends, Kihyun.”

 “Oh, shut _up_ and give me my latte. Also, is Hyunwoo in? I don’t think you actually answered me on that one.”

 “Oh yeah, right.” Minhyuk turns and calls over his shoulder, “Hey, Hyunwoo, you got a weirdo here to see you!”

 “Jesus christ,” Kihyun mutters under his breath as Hyunwoo pokes his head out of the office.

 “What’s going on, Minhyuk? Oh, hey Kihyun!” Hyunwoo brightens as he catches sight of Kihyun at the register. “Good to see you! Did you already order?”

 “Yeah, I’m getting a latte whenever Minhyuk gets his shit together,” Kihyun says, an innocent smile on his face.

 “Fuck you, I’m working on it,” Minhyuk grumbles. He’s still definitely just standing at the cash register, but that’s beside the point.

 “No swearing at the customers, Minhyuk,” Hyunwoo says mildly. “Also - if you haven’t already, make it on the house. Kihyun was a big help last week, it’s the least I can do.”

 Minhyuk dutifully punches the information into the system’s computer and gets to work making the latte while Hyunwoo meanders up to the cash register, making small talk with Kihyun.

 Jooheon sidles up to him as he works. “So that’s Kihyun, huh?”

 “Yup,” Minhyuk says, hands moving with practiced ease as he works the espresso machine. “Hey, you should do me a favor and call him an asshole at some point while he’s here.”

 “Nope, that’s your job,” Jooheon says, grinning. “The two of you seem friendly.”

 “Oh my god, lay off,” Minhyuk groans. “He’s fun to mess with and insult, it doesn’t mean anything.”

 “Hey, I didn’t say anything about it ‘meaning anything.’”

 “Yeah, I’ve lived with you for four years, I can _hear_ the implications in your voice, thank you very much.”

 “And I’ve also lived with you for four years, so I can smell your bullshit when I see it.”

 “How can you smell bullshit and see it at the same time? Those are two different senses,” Minhyuk complains. He’s moved on to frothing the milk.

 “You can see and smell shit at the same time, Minhyuk, one sense doesn’t magically turn off when the other is working.”

 “Sounds fake.”

 “You’re fake.”

 “Latte’s done!” Minhyuk calls out, turning to ignore a sputtering Jooheon and grinning at Kihyun, who was still chatting with Hyunwoo. Small victories, at least - Kihyun probably hadn’t heard Jooheon’s baseless accusations, which would be for for the best.

 Kihyun flashes him a grin from the counter, and Minhyuk feels that odd flip in his chest again. He ignores it. “Thanks, Minhyuk, I trust you didn’t poison it?” Kihyun says cheekily.

 “Don’t even joke about that,” Jooheon interrupts, “You should see the shit he makes himself in the mornings. I’m pretty sure those flavor combinations only exist in hell. Hellspressos.”

 “My creations are masterpieces and you know it.”

 “No poisoning the customers, Minhyuk.” Hyunwoo says with amusement. He turns back to Kihyun. “Anyway, I need to get back to work. It was great seeing you though - feel free to stop back here anytime.”

 “Will do,” Kihyun says, shooting him a grin before turning back to Minhyuk. “So. My latte.”

 “Here it is!” Minhyuk puts it down in front of him with a flourish - or at least, he sets the cup down and waves his arms dramatically. Kihyun raises an eyebrow, looking into the cup with disdain.

 “Why does the latte art look like a penis?”

 “It’s Minhyuk’s specialty, right next to the hellspressos,” Jooheon calls from where he’s now washing cups. “You should be honored.”

 “Honored.” Kihyun says. His face has remained shockingly impassive.

 “It’s _symbolic_ ,” Minhyuk says insistently. “It’s because you’re a dick. Get it?”

 “ _Honored._ ” Kihyun repeats. He sighs. “It could be worse. It could be a pudding monstrosity,” he says, shooting Minhyuk a cheeky grin.

 “Wait, you told him the pudding story?” Jooheon demands, turning to Minhyuk, who holds his hands up in mock surrender.

 “Yeah, it was right in between the story about Changkyun Naruto running in the library and the time everyone went to a haunted house,” Kihyun pipes up. Jooheon’s eyes widen considerably.

 “You mean to tell me,” Jooheon says, turning to Kihyun, “That not only did you let Minhyuk talk your ear off about our undergrad dumbassery, but you _listened_ and _remembered_ everything he said?”

 “Yes, why wouldn’t I?”

 “Jooheon, are you saying you don’t listen to me when I talk to you?” Minhyuk turns to him, feigning a kicked puppy look.

 “Minhyuk, I’m going to be very honest with you - once you start talking it’s _really_ hard to keep up and even harder to _remember_ all five million stories you tell.”

 “Can you _believe_ him?” Minhyuk turns to Kihyun, gesturing at Jooheon. “He says he’s my best friend, but he doesn’t even _listen_ to me, I guess Kihyun is my only _true_ friend in this place-”

 Whatever Kihyun and Jooheon were about to say in response is interrupted by another customer bursting into the shop and rushing to the counter with an order of a caramel macchiato - one that Minhyuk is disgruntled to find himself tasked with making. As he busies himself at the espresso machine, Jooheon turns to Kihyun.

 “You should run while you still can,” He hears Jooheon say, clearly trying to be subtle. “Minhyuk will talk your ear off if you’re not careful, especially now that he knows where you live.”

 Minhyuk snorts, then starts up the machine and gets to work. Before the rattling of the machine can drown out Jooheon and Kihyun’s conversation, though, he hears Kihyun say -

 “Actually, I don’t really mind it. I kind of like listening to Minhyuk talk.”

 Minhyuk is suddenly very glad that the espresso machine faces away from the two of them, because his face has inexplicably become very hot, and his chest inexplicably feels very squeezy.

 He swallows, once, then goes back to making coffee.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Second chapter, let's go! Un-beta'd this time because of finals time crunch and craziness - apologies in advance if there are any mistakes.
> 
> Enjoy!

**Minhyuk :D 9:15 am**

hey so if i

theoretically

were to make enough food for two people tonight

would you prefer steak or like, rice w/ curry

**kihyun**

...wait

what?

you don’t have to?

**Minhyuk :D**

i said theoretically dumbass answer the question

**kihyun**

christ fine

.....rice and curry

**Minhyuk :D**

ok cool

* * *

 

**Minhyuk :D 9:42am**

hoseok

hoseok save me

**hoseok**

what’s up?

**Minhyuk :D**

can you drive me to the grocery store after class??

hyungwon’s cupboards are EMPTY and i’m gonna die

and i may or may not need to make dinner tonight

**hoseok**

that bad huh

sure, I don’t have anything else planned today!

I need to pick up some veggies for the bunnies anyway

class ends at 11, right? i’ll be there!

**Minhyuk :D**

thank god you’re a lifesaver

do you want my firstborn child or my undying soul

**hoseok**

...no comment

* * *

 

“You know, it would probably be easier to just get some premade curry instead of trying to make your own from scratch.” Hoseok says mildly, after watching Minhyuk stare in despair at the list on his phone for a full five minutes.

Minhyuk had, instead of paying attention during class, spent the entire time looking up about a million recipes - recipes that he now had to like, _buy_ the ingredients for with his own physical _money_ . And then _make_ with his own physical _hands._

“Fuck it, you’re probably right,” Minhyuk sighs. “Why is cooking so hard? Why are there so many ingredients? Why am I doing this?”

“I have the exact same question, actually. Why _are_ you doing this?”

“Because Hyungwon’s asshole neighbor made me dinner and I don’t wanna owe him a favor, so I’m doing the same thing for him.” Minhyuk sighs in defeat, grabbing a box of curry mix and throwing it in the cart.

Hoseok shoots him an odd look. “Hyungwon’s neighbor made you dinner? Voluntarily?”

“ _Yes_ , and it was actually _good_ and I need to one-up him.” Minhyuk whines. He grabs another box for good measure as they continue down the aisles.

“....Right. And the last time you cooked is...?”

Minhyuk sighs and gives a dejected look at the shelf full of different types of rice now in front of them. (Do you use brown rice? Jasmine rice? What’s the difference? Does it matter? Is anything real?). “Um. I remember helping my mom make cookies once.”

Hoseok snorts. “And when was that?”

“When I was, like, ten.” Minhyuk admits, his shoulders slumping. “I’m doomed.”

“There, there,” Hoseok says dutifully, patting Minhyuk’s head. “You can probably follow a YouTube tutorial?”

“Yeah, I guess,” Minhyuk says, sighing. “I swear to god, Kihyun had better appreciate this, I’m putting my _life_ on the line-”

“You’re not going to die, Minhyuk.” Hoseok says, moving on to the vegetable aisle with Minhyuk in tow. “Although, I need to ask. Is this Kihyun guy your friend, or...?”

“Kihyun and I are _not_ friends,” Minhyuk says vehemently. “Hyungwon gave me express instructions to tell him that he’s an asshole.”

“So you’re making him dinner.” Hoseok gives Minhyuk the _look_.

“God, don’t make it sound like that,” Minhyuk complains, picking another box at random and throwing it in the cart along with their other groceries. “This is a strategic dinner, Hoseok. A strategic one! I need to create an opening. Force him to bask in the glory of my presence so I have all the more opportunities to let him know that he is, in fact an asshole.”

“And when _he_ made _you_ dinner, was that a strategic one too?”

“Fuckin, I dunno, probably! I called him an asshole and he invites me over for dinner, then he betrays my ass in GTA and blows up my car while I was in it. Dickhead. I gotta get revenge.”

“You played video games with him.” Hoseok states. Squints at him. “Minhyuk, I gotta be honest, I’m getting some really mixed signals here.”

“God, don’t-” Minhyuk stops. Sighs. “Okay, look. Do _not_ give me that look, there’s _nothing_ going on between me and Kihyun. It’s a passive aggressive battle of wits, and it’s one I intend to win.”

“I’m sure you will,” Hoseok says, smiling ruefully and shaking his head. “By the way, do you want the original brand of sauce or do you want to try a different kind?”

“Fuck if I know. Throw it in the cart.”

* * *

 

Rice cooking? Check.

Curry? It’s definitely a thing.

Bread? Not burning.

Sanity? Never heard of it.

Kihyun is supposed to show up in about ten minutes, and Minhyuk is slowly but surely losing his mind.

He looks mournfully at Kkukkungie, who has been following him around the kitchen the entire time he’s been attempting to cook in hopes of Minhyuk dropping something. “I don’t suppose Hyungwon ever taught you to cook, huh, boy?”

Kkukkungie pants, looking up at him with pleading eyes before sitting down and tilting his head in a way that makes Minhyuk’s heart weak. God, he fucking loves dogs.

“Ugh, fine,” Minhyuk shakes his head and tosses him a chunk of meat before turning back to his laptop on the kitchen counter, which definitely is not just ten separate tabs of recipes, instruction videos, and one singular tab that is nothing but Google with _i’m trying to cook but i think i’m dying????_ typed into the search bar.

Yup. Minhyuk is handling this _fantastically_.

He yelps when a sharp knocking could be heard from the door, with Kkukkungie perking up and barking before bounding off in the direction of the front door. Cursing, Minhyuk checks on the food on the stove - nothing’s on fire, so that’s good - before wiping his hands off on his pants and hurrying to the doorway.

Kihyun, infuriatingly, only needs to take a single look at Minhyuk’s frazzled state to know precisely how well his dinner preparations are going. “Cooking going well?” he asks innocently as he follows Minhyuk into the house.

“Not burning.” Minhyuk answers truthfully. He doesn’t mention the three (3) mental breakdowns while trying to decipher the box instructions, because Kihyun definitely doesn’t need to know that and neither does anybody else on this planet.

“That’s probably a good start,” Kihyun says, grinning and following him to the kitchen.

Minhyuk fusses anxiously around, watching the food on the stove, as Kihyun wanders around, looking around Hyungwon’s kitchen with curious eyes.

“What’s this?” Kihyun asks, and Minhyuk turns around to see him looking at Hyungwon’s note with furrowed eyebrows. Minhyuk can see the exact moment that Kihyun reads the infamous ‘Tell Kihyun he’s an asshole line’ as his eyebrows shoot up. “Ah. I see.”

“Yeah, that’ll be the note,” Minhyuk says, moving to peer over Kihyun’s shoulder as he reads.

“He really is emphasizing that he doesn’t trust you on your own, isn’t he?” Kihyun says with amusement. He puts the note down and moves to inspect the food on the stove - Minhyuk can’t help but to hover anxiously, watching as Kihyun ensures that everything is going to plan. He lets out a sigh of relief when Kihyun gives him a thumbs up.

“See, I’m perfectly capable of surviving on my own, I don’t know what Hyungwon is talking about,” Minhyuk says, puffing his chest a bit. “I even cooked by myself!”

“Yes, I’m very proud,” Kihyun says with a laugh. “Wanna put on some music while we wait for it to finish up, then?”

Putting on music, it turns out, was a mistake.

They start with a rap song - one of those dumb ones that Minhyuk put on his playlist as a joke, but somehow Kihyun _knows this song_ and that fact alone automatically qualifies for a rap battle.

_“Yo you can catch me rollin’ with the best, and shootin’ at the rest...”_

(Minhyuk doesn’t remember the last time he laughed this hard, trying to rap and keep up with the nonsense Kihyun was trying to pass off as rap. But that doesn’t really matter.)

The song ends with Kihyun attempting to dance to it - and honestly, Kihyun trying to freestyle is one of the funniest things Minhyuk has ever seen. Then the next song comes on - it’s _another_ one they both know, and this launches yet another passionate performance - this time from Minhyuk as he sings (read: yells) into the chopsticks he’s using as a microphone.

It’s spontaneous, it’s _fun_ , and it’s a side of Kihyun that Minhyuk didn’t expect to see after bitching at him from Hyungwon’s front lawn.

He’s still trying to catch his breath from singing and dancing when the smell of smoke and something rancid hits his nose.

He sees Kihyun’s eyes widen in panic when the smell reaches him a few moments later.

_Fuck._

Minhyuk lets out a dying whale noise when he and Kihyun rush to the kitchen and behold the scene of the curry (if you can still call it that) bubbling in a grotesquely thick glob, and the rice charred along the edges of the pot.

“Fuck,” Minhyuk says in a tiny voice.

“Maybe we can still save something?” Kihyun says, in an equally tiny voice.

Minhyuk pokes at the lump of what used to be curry with a spoon, and it jiggles in a way that curry is definitely not supposed to. He and Kihyun stare at it for a moment before Kihyun says, “I have some pizza coupons at my house that I can bring over?”

Minhyuk exhales with a whoosh. “Oh, thank fucking god.”

* * *

 

They’ve got about half an hour to kill before the pizza delivery arrives, and Hyungwon happens to own the entire Studio Ghibli collection (because, Minhyuk tells Kihyun very seriously, Hyungwon may give Minhyuk all the shit in the world, but deep down he’s a huge softie) - so, obviously, they decide to watch a movie.

After arguing extensively on what to watch, they finally compromise with _Howl’s Moving Castle_ \- complete with a running commentary by Minhyuk.

(“I feel like you’d make a good Sophie,” he informs Kihyun. )

(“The only person on this Earth is more dramatic than Howl is you,” Kihyun shoots back.)

(“Howl’s not a real person on this Earth, checkmate-”)

(“Shut up and watch the movie.”)

By the time the pizza arrives, Kihyun has all but given up on getting Minhyuk to be quiet - instead, he’s just laughing, shaking his head ruefully, and giving small _hmm_ s and little grins when Minhyuk explains, in great detail, why Howl’s meltdown about his hair was totally, completely justified, actually.

And Minhyuk also doesn’t think too hard when, after getting up with him to greet the pizza delivery guy (and offer to help pay, which Minhyuk firmly declines), Kihyun sits next to him on the couch instead of his previous spot in the armchair by the window.

 _It’s because the pizza’s here with you and he's here to eat it, stop overthinking it_ , his brain says.

 _There’s nothing to overthink, dumbass_ , he thinks, telling his brain to shut the fuck up.

“You know,” Kihyun says around a mouthful of pizza, “Even if you ruined everything -”

“I _did not_ -”

“That was the most fun I’ve ever had making food.”

Minhyuk snorts, but that weird warmth is there again, that squeeze in his chest that he doesn’t really know how to interpret. He might have to google ‘heartburn’ later. “So you enjoy burning rice?”

“That’s not what I’m talking about, _asshole_. I meant the singing and shit. I’m trying to have a _moment._ ”

Minhyuk opens his mouth to respond, but for some reason the snarky response on the tip of his tongue didn’t really want to come out. So instead he says, lamely, “I guess you’re not always an asshole.”

Kihyun snorts. “Watch the movie and eat your pizza, Minhyuk.”

So he does.

* * *

 

**Minhyuk :D 8:03pm**

hey hyungwon

can you please explain to me

why the FUCK you have seven different remotes

**wonnie**

idk?? i just kinda do

it’s not that bad

**Minhyuk :D**

SEVEN, HYUNGWON

I COULD ASSIGN ONE DEADLY SIN TO EACH REMOTE YOU OWN

**wonnie**

apple tv is greed

the long black one is wrath

**Minhyuk :D**

no the Apple is just default pride

it’s _Apple_

the stereo one is greed

and yeah the long black one is definitely wrath

also no i haven’t burned the house down yet

**wonnie**

that was a random enough transition that I feel like there’s a “but” in there

**Minhyuk :D**

but i did burn some rice

**wonnie**

there it is

**Minhyuk :D**

also the curry, tragically, did not survive

the inside of the bread was fine once you took off all the crust

**wonnie**

christ

i should have installed one of those security systems that like

tell me when there’s smoke or whatever in my house

that way i can keep track of your dumbassery

**Minhyuk :D**

HEY THIS IS JUST ONE TIME

**wonnie**

YOU'VE BEEN THERE LIKE THREE DAYS

**Minhyuk :D**

SHHHHH THAT’S NOT IMPORTANT

but yeah no we just ended up ordering pizza lmao

**wonnie**

...wait

“we”?

**Minhyuk :D**

oh

uh

me and kihyun

it was a strategic dinner you see

**wonnie**

strategic

**Minhyuk :D**

it was to tell him he’s an asshole

**wonnie**

was it now

**Minhyuk :D**

yes

**wonnie**

Minhyuk

**Minhyuk :D**

shhhhhhhhhh watching a movie now can’t talk bye

**wonnie**

are you watching a movie with kihyun

**Minhyuk :D**

no

yes

bye

* * *

 

“So Hoseok tells me you had a _strategic_ dinner last night.” Jooheon says as soon as Minhyuk arrives at his shift the next day.

“It never ends, does it,” Minhyuk sighs as he takes his place behind the counter, making a beeline straight to the espresso machine.

“It could end, maybe, if you stopped being in denial.” Jooheon says accusingly. “I thought you said that the last dinner was Kihyun trying to pay you back? What could you owe him?”

Minhyuk, very deliberately, turns away and begins busily working on his next hellspresso, but Jooheon follows him close behind, fixing a glare on him. “At this rate, I could almost say that you’re becoming _friends_ -”

Minhyuk whirls, gasping. “Me? Friends with Kihyun? In _this_ economy?”

“ _-and_ , don’t think I didn’t notice you saying ‘Kihyun is your only true friend’ when he was here the other day. I think you’re a lying liar who’s full of _shit_.”

“I said that?” Minhyuk says, taken off guard.

“ _Yes_ , I _distinctly_ remember you saying that because of him listening to all of the bullshit you say instead of telling you to shut up-”

Oh, right. “That was a _joke,_ Jooheon,” he says, a little too defensively. “I was being dramatic, let me live.”

“Bullshit,” Jooheon says. “I’m calling bullshit, I have lived with you for _four years_ , you can’t hide this shit from me-”

“Hey, you should probably help that customer,” Minhyuk says innocently, inclining his head towards the cash register. Jooheon shoots him another look before turning and pasting on his own Customer Service Smile as Minhyuk distracts himself with completing his Hellspresso.

The problem. The problem is, his thoughts keep betraying him. They keep going back to what Jooheon was saying, because at the end of the day he’s usually right, as much as Minhyuk hates to admit it. His mind strays back to random moments - belting songs in the middle of Hyungwon’s kitchen, the way the corners of Kihyun’s mouth quirked up when he smiled, how he laughed at Minhyuk’s stupid commentary and, even when Kihyun told him to shut up and watch the movie, there wasn’t an ounce of malice in it.

Okay, _maybe_ he doesn’t hate Kihyun as much as he claims he does. Maybe he does enjoy his company a teensy tiny bit. A tad. A smidgen.

Jooheon appears back by his side, eyeing the mug in Minhyuk’s hands. “Did you mean to put ten pumps of strawberry syrup in that or have you finally lost your mind?”

Minhyuk, who is definitely in full control of himself and didn’t lose track of what he was doing, looks into the cup and in that exact moment accepts his fate of sugary hell. “Yes.”

“Yes to ‘you meant to do it’ or yes to ‘you’ve lost your goddamn mind’?”

“Yes,” Minhyuk repeats, louder this time.

Jooheon shakes his head and pats him on the back. “Godspeed, my friend.”

Minhyuk salutes him as the first rush of customers start pushing into the door.

* * *

 

It’s about three hours later (and when Minhyuk is starting to feel the crash from the enormous amount of sugar and caffeine he’d consumed) when Jooheon corners him again.

“So, I was thinking-” Jooheon starts.

“C’mon, Jooheon, we all know that thinking is dangerous.”

“Look who’s talking,” Jooheon shoots back. “Anyway, I was thinking that since you’re _clearly_ in the process of losing it in Hyungwon’s big lonely house-”

“What is _that_ supposed to mean-”  
“And deciding to spend all your time with his neighbor instead of your bestest friend-”

“Jooheon, for fuck’s sake-”

“-I’ve been meaning to ask, when are you holding that party you promised me you'd throw when you took the housesitting job?”

Minhyuk immediately brightens, insults forgotten. “Oh yeah! Why not this weekend? Hey Hyunwoo!” he calls to the back room. Hyunwoo obediently pops his head around the corner. “What does the schedule look like for this weekend? I wanna throw a party at Hyungwon’s.”

Hyunwoo’s head disappears for a moment, then reappears. “Minhyuk, you work Saturday afternoon and you’re both on for Sunday morning, but if you wanna throw a party Friday evening you should be able to survive even if you’re hungover,” he says with a hint of amusement in his voice.

“What about you and Hoseok?” Minhyuk presses.

Hyunwoo snorts. “You’re inviting your boss to your party?” he asks, amused.

“Oh come on, you were our friend first!” Jooheon chimes in. He gives his best (remarkably effective) puppy eyes and pouts, dimples in full force. “Pleeeease?”

“Pleeeeeeeeease?” Minhyuk says, adding his own puppy eyes to the mix.

“Alright, yes, I’m also free Friday night,” Hyunwoo gives in, giving them a fond smile that they always nicknamed the ‘dad smile’. “Hoseok’s on to work that night but I’ll ask him if he wants to switch it. Or you can ask him, whichever.”

Minhyuk’s not remotely worried about it - half the coworkers owe him favors, so even if Hoseok can’t get the day off then Minhyuk can totally bribe someone else into it. “Hell _yeah!”_

“You should ask Kihyun to come,” Jooheon says after Hyunwoo’s disappeared back into the office. “If he’s going to take my place, we might as well indoctrinate him into our friend group.”

“He’s not taking your place, Jooheonie, stop being dramatic.” Minhyuk rolls his eyes. “You’re like, my platonic soulmate. Kihyun’s like, a shithead soulmate.”

“I’m not even going to try to figure out what the fuck that means.”

“Good,” Minhyuk says, turning to help the next customer. “You shouldn’t.”

* * *

 

**2:09pm kihyun**

so

considering you burned last night’s dinner

i think you still owe me one, don’t you think?

**Minhyuk :D**

just say you want to see my beautiful face and go, kihyun ;)

**kihyun**

on the contrary

i think it is you who wants to see my beautiful face

**Minhyuk :D**

christ kihyun

don’t let that ego get the better of you

**kihyun**

i’m not the one who burned the rice lmao

im allowed to have an ego

you, on the other hand, should save what dignity you have left

**Minhyuk :D**

are you seriously going to pretend you have any more dignity than i do

I have a VIVID memory of you trying to do a fortnite dance to an eminem song yesterday

**kihyun**

I was not trying

I nailed it

**Minhyuk :D**

you call wiggling like that nailing it???

you bring shame to the fortnite name

**kihyun**

don’t pretend you’re not jealous minhyuk

we both know that i’m dancer material

**Minhyuk :D**

careful of your ego kihyunnie

let your head get any bigger and maybe it’ll turn into a balloon

then you’ll fly away or some shit lmao

OR OR OR maybe you just want to have a big head to make you taller loooooool

**kihyun**

wow

low blow minhyuk

**Minhyuk :D**

not as low as your height

**kihyun**

holy shit you’re so annoying

**Minhyuk :D**

we been knew bitch

......anyway what do you want for dinner

* * *

 Kihyun comes over before Minhyuk starts cooking this time.

“What, you don’t trust my amazing cooking skills?” He asks with a grin as Kihyun sweeps into the kitchen. He’s brought all of his own cooking gear - and to Minhyuk’s amusement, he’s also brought two aprons with him.

“Put this on,” Kihyun says, shoving one of the aprons at him (the one with the cute cartoon puppy, specifically). “And no, I absolutely do not.”

* * *

 

“You’re going to burn the vegetables,” Kihyun scolds, bodily shoving Minhyuk aside and taking his place at the stove. Minhyuk sticks his tongue out, but continues his story nonetheless.

“Anyway, so like, it’s a jelly bean factory, right? And tiny baby Minhyuk thought it’d be great to get a bunch of weird flavors of jelly beans, and so I got a bunch of hot pepper flavored ones. Then I had an even better idea, because like, they were green and pretty innocent looking, right? So gave them to all my friends, telling them that they were watermelon-”

Kihyun looks up from where he was concentrating on the food and whispers, eyes wide, “You’re a monster.”

“You’re damn right,” Minhyuk says, a maniacal grin on his face. “So that went over about as well as you’d expect, and I’m pretty sure I still have a bruise from where Hyungwon punched me all these years later-”

“You’ve known Hyungwon that long?”

“Yeah, we met when I dumped a bucket full of bugs on his sand castle in elementary school.”

Kihyun chokes on air and says, “Christ, Minhyuk is it at all possible for you to meet someone in a normal way?”

Minhyuk pauses and thinks, tapping his chin with his finger. “Um, I met Jooheon the night of the pudding run incident freshman year of undergrad? I knocked on his door thinking it was Hyungwon’s, and we just kinda decided to take him with us.”

“That’s not - okay, pudding monstrosity aside, that’s probably better than a _bucket_ full of _insects_ -”

“And better than starting off with accusing someone of being a bad pet owner, yeah?”

“That is _heavily_ debatable,” Kihyun says, rolling his eyes. “And pay attention to the food, we’re gonna end up with a charred monstrosity again.”

“You know you love meeeee,” Minhyuk sings as obnoxiously as possible, and, for good measure, leans over and wraps himself around Kihyun's back, arms draping over his shoulders.

“I tolerate you at best. Where does Hyungwon keep his silverware?” Kihyun asks, utterly unfazed.

“Cabinet behind you,” Minhyuk says, still not letting go. Kihyun dutifully turns towards the cabinet, and Minhyuk just kind of, hangs on, dragging his feet on the ground as Kihyun pulls him around the kitchen.

“This is kind of fun,” Minhyuk notes, still hanging off of Kihyun’s back. “I think I’m going to stay like this forever. I’ll be your human cape. I’ll communicate with people using hand signals when you don’t want to talk. I’ll never walk again and just have you drag me everywhere.”

“Hey, you said Hyungwon keeps the knives in the drawer to the left of the sink, right?” Kihyun asks innocently.

“Point taken!” Minhyuk yelps, leaping back.

“Thank you,” Kihyun smirks a bit, brushing off his shirt. “By the way, you should check on the vegetables again.”

Minhyuk sticks his tongue out at Kihyun and does as he’s told. “What about you, then? What’s the craziest way you’ve ever met someone?”

“I think meeting you was probably the weirdest,” Kihyun says. “The note thing was...interesting. I typically don’t care for weird situations like that, but here we are.”

Minhyuk grins at him from his position at the stove. “Good thing I’m here to turn your life into living chaos, right? Otherwise your life would be boring.”

“That’s the thing, though,” Kihyun says, attending to the contents of the pan with an unusual amount of focus. “Usually I hate people like that. Can’t stand them.”

“Yeah, but you’re putting up with me pretty well,” Minhyuk says, nudging him with his elbow and shooting him his most brilliant smile.

Kihyun rolls his eyes. “If you can call it that. By the way, if you make me burn the food again I will not hesitate to kill you.”

“I won’t!” Minhyuk says indignantly, but moves out of his way nonetheless. Kihyun is on a roll now - he’s moving back and forth between the pots on the stove and stirring, poking, and generally being far more competent than him. Minhyuk props his elbows up on the counter, watching him. “You know, I think the universe brought us together specifically for me to annoy you.”

“Tell the universe I want a refund.” Kihyun says with zero hesitation.

Minhyuk places a hand on his heart in mock offense. “How could you! Ruuuuuuuude, you know you love me.”

“You have an odd definition of love,” Kihyun notes. He’s fixated on the soup, squinting through the steam and very deliberately not looking at Minhyuk.

“See, you keep saying shit like that but you also keep me around, so you clearly don’t _hate_ me.”

“Not hating someone isn’t the same thing as love,” Kihyun mutters, still resolutely stirring at the soup.

Minhyuk opens his mouth to give a witty retort, but something has changed - Kihyun’s posture, his tone, there’s been a shift and Minhyuk suddenly realizes that they’re not really talking about the same thing, not anymore.

He doesn’t know what it is, and he doesn’t know how to respond. So he changes the subject.

* * *

 

“By the way, I’m holding a party on Friday,” Minhyuk says, finally bringing up the topic that had been in the back of his mind since work. They’ve finished eating by now and are lounging in the living room - Kihyun brought over his laptop and is editing photos while Minhyuk sits on the floor, begrudgingly working on his homework assignments for the week. Kkukkungie, to Minhyuk’s disappointment, had chosen Kihyun to sit with, with Kihyun idly scratching his head as he clicks away diligently at his laptop.

“Yeah?” Kihyun says, looking up. “Is this your way of letting me know you won’t be trespassing on my house that day?”

Minhyuk rolls his eyes. “No, dickhead, I’m trying to invite you.”

The tapping of Kihyun’s laptop stops as his hands go still. “You’re inviting me?”

“Well, yeah,” Minhyuk rolls over to finally face him, propping his chin up on his hands. “Why not? We’ve been hanging out, like, daily, and the others want to hang out with you properly.”

Kihyun finally looks up from his computer screen. “Why, though? I thought you just hung around to call me an asshole.”

“That’s because...” Minhyuk starts, but somehow the words _you’re an asshole_ didn’t seem to want to come out. Despite it only being a matter of days (and his vehement denial to the contrary), Kihyun has somehow managed to worm his way into Minhyuk’s life in a way that didn’t quite make sense. The singing, the rap-offs...even just sitting together in the room, quietly working on their own projects had an air of ease and comfort that goes beyond just two people hanging out for the sake of insulting each other.

There was also the odd moment in the kitchen.

And maybe it was something in Kihyun’s expression - something weirdly vulnerable, in a way - that makes him instead say, “I like hanging out with you.”

Kihyun regards him with narrowed eyes. “You’re not just saying that to convince me to come to your party, are you?”

“No, I’m not,” Minhyuk says with sincerity that surprises even himself. “Even if you are fun to annoy, you’re also fun to sing dumb songs in the kitchen with, and it turns out you’re also a pretty good homework buddy. You’re actually a pretty good friend.”

Kihyun looks relieved, almost, and lets a half smile break out, so Minhyuk hastily adds, “You’re still an asshole, though.”

Gotta stay on brand, right?

Kihyun lets out a huff of laughter. “Alright, fine. You’re not that bad to hang out with yourself, even if you are the single most talkative person I’ve ever met in my life.”

Minhyuk throws one of the pillows at him in response for that, and Kihyun yelps and swats it away. But there’s a smile on his face, and Minhyuk takes that as a victory.

* * *

 

**kihyuk intervention squad**

**honey boy**

friends

comrades

bros

bromrades

**wonnie**

why am i here

what is this

**hoseok**

read the group chat name!!

it’s an intervention for kihyun and minhyuk

**wonnie**

i did read it

and i want nothing to do with this

the less i know about what happens between minhyuk and my neighbor, the better

**honey boy**

there’s no backing out now my dude

you made this happen

you wrote the note

so now you get to suffer with us

**dad**

“suffer” is a bit of a strong word

it’s not that bad

**honey boy**

you’re always in the office hyunwoo

you weren’t there today

**wonnie**

....do i want to know what happened today

**honey boy**

kihyun visited while minhyuk and i were working

and it started off with their usual shithead banter

**dad**

oh yeah, I remember now

minhyuk made him a hellspresso

**wonnie**

he WHAT

**honey boy**

yeah and then kihyun almost died

then they bickered some more

but like

their eyes, hyung

their EYES

**hoseok**

jooheon told me they made gooey eyes at each other

**honey boy**

THEY DID AND IT WAS GROSS

**wonnie**

jesus christ

it’s that bad???

**hoseok**

yes

**honey boy**

yes

**dad**

.......i’ll admit it’s a thing

**wonnie**

how does this happen

i added the kihyun thing to the note as a JOKE

i leave for TWO WEEKS and y’all can’t keep minhyuk under control

**honey boy**

THIS IS ON YOU MY GUY

**changkyunnie**

hey guys

not that i don’t love and miss you all

but

why am i here??

anyone wanna fill me in??

**hoseok**

BECAUSE WE LOVE AND MISS YOU CHANGKYUN

**honey boy**

BECAUSE YOU DESERVE TO BE IN ON THE HOT GOSS

**wonnie**

YOU’RE DRAGGING CHANGKYUN INTO THIS???

**chankyunnie**

understood

DISH THE HOT GOSS

**dad**

oh, changkyun, did hyungwon tell you that he’s in the states?

**changkyunnie**

HYUNGWON YOU FUCKING WHAT NOW

**wonnie**

wow would you look at that

gotta go do model things!

GOODBYE

* * *

 

**wonnie**

traitor

**dad**

:)

* * *

 

Friday night arrives quickly - far more quickly than Minhyuk really expected it to.

After the admission that Minhyuk may or may not consider Kihyun a friend (and after avoiding many accusing stares from Jooheon on their shifts together) the two of them had given up on the pretenses of “dinner” and just show up at each others’ houses - especially after Kihyun takes it upon himself to make sure Minhyuk does his homework (for the first time in his life, he’s _ahead_ on his lesson plans) and, somehow, Kihyun seems to enjoy editing his photos in Minhyuk’s company.

They also talk, a lot. But they sit in silence as well, working on their own respective projects (Minhyuk occasionally complaining about the amount of work assigned in this _summer class_ and Kihyun bitching under his breath about lighting), and Minhyuk finds that he enjoys it. He enjoys the easy company, he enjoys the comfortable quiet, he enjoys that Kihyun will show up at his door with no warning and demand to know if he’s done his homework, or to demand to pet Kkukkungie (with the latter only becoming more and more common).

Maybe he was going losing his mind a little bit, as Jooheon said, “in Hyungwon’s big empty house all by his lonesome.”

(Not that he’d ever admit it.)

On the night of the party, Kihyun shows up a full hour in advance with a plate full of cookies to contribute, an offer to help set up, and more nerves than Minhyuk had ever seen him with in the short time they’d known each other.

Kkukkungie follows him around as Kihyun paces around the house, helping Minhyuk clean (read: going on a cleaning rampage while Minhyuk trails behind) and occasionally looking out the window.

“You’ve already met half my friends, there’s no need to be nervous,” Minhyuk says in amusement as Kihyun looks out the window for the fifth time in ten minutes.

“I’m not nervous,” Kihyun says defensively, wringing his hands in a very nervous fashion. “I’m just impatient. That’s all.”

“Well, you don’t have to be much longer,” Minhyuk says, inclining his head towards the window where Hoseok’s car has just pulled into the driveway. “Looks like the crew has arrived.”

Kihyun yelps and sprints back into the kitchen, coming back with his plate of cookies just as the door opens and Hyunwoo, Jooheon, and Hoseok pile into the house.

The three of them freeze upon seeing Minhyuk and Kihyun, and Minhyuk belatedly realizes from their expressions (Jooheon’s _look_ , Hyunwoo’s raised eyebrow, and Hoseok’s broad grin) that the scene they just stumbled on - the two of them standing side by side to welcome them into the house, and Kihyun holding a plate of cookies - must look domestic as _fuck_.

He also realizes that the idea of domesticity with Kihyun doesn’t weird him out him nearly as much as it should, and promptly shoves that thought into the deep, dark recesses of his brain.

Kihyun finally breaks the silence by holding out the plate of cookies. “You guys can have some, if you want,” he says.

Hyunwoo, bless his soul, gives Kihyun a warm smile and moves forward to take one, saying, “Thank you, Kihyun, and welcome to this group of friends.”

The relieved smile on Kihyun’s face makes that thing in Minhyuk’s chest flip, and he ignores it in favor of shouting, “Now let’s get this party _started_!”

* * *

 

It turns out, Kihyun’s really good at Mario Kart.

In the true fashion of their friend group, they started off with video games - and, despite the relentless teasing from everyone else when Kihyun chose _Toadette_ as his character, Kihyun manages to prove himself a worthy opponent.

Minhyuk almost beats him on their third round - that is, until a blue shell appears and crushes all of his hopes and dreams, causing him to let out a shriek of anger that had Jooheon on the floor from laughter.

Kihyun’s expression, however, suddenly changes the instant he hears Minhyuk’s shriek and then he’s dropping the controller and rounding on Minhyuk with an accusing glare.

“I know that shriek.”

Minhyuk, taken completely off guard, squeaks,“You do?”

“ _Yes._ A month ago. Hyungwon held a party. I heard some asshole screeching at the top of his fucking lungs and seriously considered going straight over there to punch their lights out. It was _you._ ”

Minhyuk wracks his brain for a moment before brightening. “Oh yeah! I think Jooheon was drunk and trying to fistfight me.”

Jooheon, who is watching this exchange with amusement, says “You deserved it, by the way,”

Kihyun glares ferociously. “ _I had work the next day, asshole_."

“Look at it from the bright side!” Hoseok says, still concentrating on the game (Minhyuk and Kihyun’s characters were sitting pathetically still in the middle of the track) “Now you get to be a part of the chaos instead of just having to listen to it.”

Kihyun finally sits back, but shoots Minhyuk another glare. “I’ll get back at you for this.”

Before Minhyuk can retort, Hoseok whoops and throws his hands in the air. “First place!” He yells triumphantly, then turns to Kihyun with a grin. “Looks like I’m leading in points, now, Kihyun.”

The competitive fire lights back up in Kihyun’s eyes as he turns his attention to Hoseok. “You’re on.”

* * *

 

After Mario Kart, Hyunwoo and Hoseok pull out the bottles of booze they’d brought (Hyungwon had explicitly banned them from touching his own stash, and they may be shitheads but they weren’t _animals_ ).

“Karaoke!” Hoseok yells, to the groans of Jooheon and the excited whoop of Minhyuk, who immediately seizes Kihyun’s wrist and drags him to the middle of the living room with him to go first.

Kihyun protests at first, then, after the cheers and whoops from everyone else there, finally picks up the microphone from Hyungwon’s karaoke machine (which he owns, inexplicably), begins belting a duet with Minhyuk with all the passion of a seasoned performer.

(Minhyuk knew Kihyun’s voice was good - their singing sessions while cooking had told him that much. But it was something entirely different to see him performing all out like this, and his voice _does things_ to Minhyuk that makes his heart sing.)

Jooheon gives Minhyuk another _look_ when the song finishes and they sit down, which Minhyuk graces with a middle finger before turning to high five Kihyun, whose face was flushed and eyes shining from both singing and the little bit of alcohol in his system. Kihyun flashes him a brilliant smile with his eyes turning into little crescents and Minhyuk decides that the accusing looks are a problem for future Minhyuk as he smiles back just as widely.

Then Jooheon takes over the karaoke machine with a rap song, and the whoops and cheers from his friends (his _friends_ , Kihyun is his friend now, a thought that makes him giddy) effectively distract Minhyuk from whatever it was that thing in his chest was doing.

* * *

 

“So.” Jooheon says. It’s Sunday, two days after the party, and the first time they’re working together since then. Jooheon is giving him an accusing look, and Minhyuk is beginning to wonder if “accusing” is Jooheon’s new default.

“So?” Minhyuk says innocently as he clocks in. He ignores how Jooheon’s glare intensifies.

“I thought you and Kihyun were just, what was the phrase, ‘shithead soulmates’? Looks to me like you two are more on the road to _actual_ soulmates, if Friday night was any indicator.”

“Oh, come _on_ ,” Minhyuk complains. “You got me to admit that Kihyun and I are friends, and now this? Let me _live_ , Jooheon.”

Jooheon huffs, annoyed. “Don’t think we didn’t notice the two of you whispering to each other the entire time, and sitting next to each other on the couch all the time, and don’t get me _started_ on the way you were _looking_ at him -”

“He’s a new friend, Jooheonie, I’m just excited he’s fitting in!” Minhyuk says defensively.

“Bull _shit_. I guarantee you’re either lying or in denial.”

“Do you guys ever actually work, or just bicker all the time?” Hyunwoo asks, breezing past them as he does his walkthrough of the shop. “Also, Minhyuk, I’m going to have to agree with Jooheon on this one.”

“Oh come _on_ ,” Minhyuk pouts as Jooheon whoops triumphantly. He glares at both of them. “Look, I’m _allowed_ to make new friends and spend time with them. I’m _allowed_ to talk to Kihyun whenever I want. You don’t control my life.”

“Yeah, you’re _allowed_ to do whatever the fuck you want, but that doesn’t stop me from being able to call you out when you’re _clearly_ in denial.” Jooheon shoots back.

“We’re opening, so please try to keep your arguing to a minimum,” Hyunwoo calls. Minhyuk sticks his tongue out at Jooheon and turns to unlock the shop’s doors.

Hyunwoo, however, isn’t about to let him off easy. “I do think that Jooheon has a point, though. You guys were really friendly for having not known each other very long.”

“Oh, lay _off_.” Minhyuk mutters. “He’s just Hyungwon’s neighbor that’s fun to hang out with and mess with. I don’t see what the big deal is.”

“Because, despite your insistence that he’s an asshole, you talk about him all the time and you also somehow have managed not to chase him off.” Hyunwoo’s maintaining a straight face, but the twinkle in his eyes show that he’s deeply enjoying this. “Plus Kihyun is also blowing up my phone on my end, so there’s that too.”

“He is?” Minhyuk can’t help but be thrown off guard. “What’s he saying?”

“Maybe you should ask him that yourself,” Hyunwoo says. His grin has fully broken out now, but Minhyuk also had a feeling that bribery wasn’t going to break through him this time.

“You all are terrible,” he complains.

“Love you too, Minhyuk!” Jooheon calls from behind the cash register.

Minhyuk’s scathing retort was interrupted by a frazzled looking woman barreling into the shop demanding their strongest espresso. He decides that this is a can of worms that doesn’t need to be opened again and leaves it at that for the rest of the day.

* * *

 

**7:28 kihyunnie**

minhyuk help

i’m watching the lord of the rings director’s commentary

and ian mckellen is 1 word into the lore and i’m already choked up

**Minhyuk :D**

me when I watch Bionicle: Mask of Light (2003)

**kihyunnie**

oh my fucking god

are you comparing bionicle to lord of the rings

i am literally putting on my shoes to go over there and slam you directly into the trashcan

**Minhyuk :D**

are you dunking on the masterpiece that is the Bionicle cinematic universe

**kihyunnie**

open your fucking door

In retrospect, Minhyuk isn’t quite sure why he expected opening the front door to have no negative consequences.

As it is, he is still taken completely off guard by the blur that is Kihyun attempting to fucking _tackle_ him the moment he opens the door.

Minhyuk yelps, stumbling back, and then Kihyun is physically dragging him towards the kitchen with all his might with the full intention of actually shoving him into the nearest trashcan.

“What the fuck!” MInhyuk shrieks, finally disentangling himself and scrambling away. “Oh my god, what are you _doing-_ ”

“That’s what you fuckin _get_ for dunking on the Lord of the Rings trilogy.” Kihyun huffs, crossing his arms and glaring.

“Excuse you, Bionicle is a _masterpiece_ and Lord of the Rings should be honored to be considered in the same category.”

“You....” Kihyun almost looks like he’s about to make another attempt at dunking Minhyuk in the trashcan, but takes a deep breath and visibly counts to three under his breath. “You’re _ridiculous_.”

“Well aware!” Minhyuk says with a grin. “I’ve never actually seen Lord of the Rings all the way through, though, so I can’t actually say for sure, if that makes you feel better.”

Kihyun’s jaw drops. “You....you’ve never seen Lord of the Rings?” He looks a bit like Minhyuk has just kicked a puppy in front of him.

Minhyuk’s heart lurches in an odd way at seeing Kihyun dejected, and before he can stop himself he says, “I’ll watch it with you if you want.”

(His entire friend group is going to kill him later, considering they’ve been trying to get him to sit down long enough to watch the trilogy for literal years, but that’s beside the point)

(And it’s all worth it to see Kihyun’s face light up at the suggestion)

They migrate over to Kihyun’s face to watch the first movie - Kihyun owns all three extended editions, and it delights Minhyuk to see just how much of a _nerd_ he is at heart.

Minhyuk had brought Kkukkungie over with him and the dog’s head is resting in his lap, with Minhyuk idly scratching his ears. Kihyun is next to him, on the edge of his seat and so excited that Minhyuk can _see_ his enthusiasm bubbling over. He pauses the movie when he talks about the lore - another little quirk that Minhyuk can’t help but find hilarious, that he pokes fun at, that makes his chest feel light and happy when Kihyun sputters in defense of.

Before he realizes it, they had watched the entire first movie, all three hours of it.

Somehow, Minhyuk hasn’t gotten distracted or bored like he has every other time. Somehow, Kihyun’s commentary makes it worthwhile. He delights in comparing Kihyun to Sam - the gardener, the cook, the one who’s loyal to a fault, to which Kihyun tells him that he's the epitome of Merry and Pippin's, quote, "chaotic dumbassery."

After the credits roll, Kihyun immediately puts on _The Two Towers_ , and Minhyuk doesn’t even check the time to see how late it is.

It’s about two in the morning when Minhyuk wakes up to the menu screen of the movie playing, over and over, bathing the room in soft light.

Scrubbing at his face a bit, he shifts slightly, squinting in the low light to try and find the remote to turn off the television. However, he when he suddenly becomes aware of a weight on his shoulder - slowly, Minhyuk turns his head and stares.

_Oh._

Kihyun’s head is on his shoulder, his chest rising and falling softly as he sleeps.

Actually, Kihyun is entirely snuggled into his side, legs curled up on the couch and his hands in little fists, fists that shouldn’t be nearly as cute as they are.

Slowly, Minhyuk shifts, trying to reach the blanket on the other side of him to wrap it around Kihyun’s shoulders so he won’t get cold - but as soon as he moves, Kihyun makes a small noise and snuggles even closer, and that thing in his chest, in his _heart_ , that thing he’s been trying to ignore and deny, _bursts_.

_Fuck._

And there’s no denying it anymore.

He’s falling.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (raise your hand if you want a kihyuk howl's moving castle au now i mean what-)  
> Next chapter should be out by the end of the month - it's taking a bit longer than expected to get all of this finished up (it turns out, finals means that there's a lot of homework to do! Who'd have guessed?) but the final chapter's gonna be a fun one - hope you all will enjoy when it's out!  
> Thanks for reading!


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Sorry for the delay on the last chapter - ended up way busier than I thought I would (remember when I said I'd post this by the end of December ahahahahhahahahhaha)  
> Huge shoutout to [ crossroadsdog ](https://archiveofourown.org/users/CrossroadsDog/pseuds/CrossroadsDog) for beta-ing, and to you guys for reading!  
> Enjoy~

Minhyuk wakes to an empty couch and the faint sounds of someone in the kitchen, humming softly.

At first, it takes him a moment to process the unfamiliar setting of Kihyun’s house, then to remember the night before - watching the movie, laughing with Kihyun, falling asleep -

And waking up with Kihyun’s head on his shoulder, snuggled into his side, and the way his heart had _combusted_ at the sight.

“Shit,” Minhyuk mumbles under his breath, staring upwards at the ceiling and slumping down further into the couch, as if maybe it will swallow him whole if he just sinks into it far enough. What is he even _doing?_ He can’t develop feelings for Kihyun, he’s just Hyungwon’s neighbor, the guy he’s been hanging out with every day for over a week, the guy who lights up when he gets excited about something and dances like a dork and-

“Shit,” Minhyuk whimpers again, then pulls the blanket over his head for good measure.

Of course, Kihyun chose that exact moment to come back into the living room and say, “Hey, I’m making breakfast and - are you okay?”

“I’m doing great.” Minhyuk says, voice muffled by the blanket over his head. He’s not quite ready to face Kihyun after the previous night’s revelation. He needs another, like, five minutes. “I’ll be in the kitchen in a few minutes. Just gotta like, wake up? Or something. I don’t know.”

Kihyun huffs a laugh, and Minhyuk’s heart does that little flip that he can’t ignore now, god _damn_ it. “All right, I’ll be here.” He says, and....and, well it takes a beat too long for his footsteps to finally retreat back into the kitchen, and Minhyuk definitely isn’t overthinking that.

Breakfast. He can handle breakfast.

* * *

He cannot handle breakfast.

By the time Minhyuk finally drags himself from out of his blanket to shuffle into Kihyun’s kitchen, he’s tried to convince himself that last night was a fluke - that breakfast is manageable, and Kihyun will say something stupid and Minhyuk will make fun of him for it and everything will be back to normal.

But that isn’t what happens, not at all, because Minhyuk steps foot into the kitchen and the first thing he sees is Kihyun, wearing the puppy apron that he’d shoved into Minhyuk’s face that time he made dinner with him. Then he notices the way his hair is just a little squashed on one side from sleeping on Minhyuk’s shoulder. Then he notices a tiny bit of pancake batter on Kihyun’s cheek.

Minhyuk immediately turns around and makes a beeline straight back into the living room, shoves his face into one of Kihyun’s pillows, and screams.

Kihyun pokes his head around the corner. “Are you okay?”

“I’m doing great,” Minhyuk mumbles into the cushion.

He hears Kihyun snort behind him. “I’m pretty sure you just walked into the kitchen and then immediately turned around to scream into the cushion.”

“Um.” Minhyuk mumbles. “Uh. I had. A nightmare. About giant spiders. Yes.”

“What?”

“Bad dream.” Minhyuk says, a little louder and trying to keep the edge of desperation out of his voice. “I had a bad dream. With orcs and stuff. I wasn’t awake yet. I died. Yes.”

“You had a bad dream?” Kihyun says, his tone suddenly changing to one of concern. Minhyuk despairingly groans into his cushion, because god _damn_ it he just wanted to come up with a stupid excuse for his erratic behavior and now Kihyun is _concerned_ and it was _doing things_ to his heart that he _really_ wasn’t nearly capable of handling right now.

He hears Kihyun moving closer and buries his head even further into the pillow (jeopardizing his ability to, you know, breathe, but that’s beside the point).

“I’m fine,” he says. He is not fine.

“Are you sure?” Kihyun asks, his voice now far closer as he moves to hover behind him.

“I’m great,” Minhyuk says. “Uh, you should check on the pancakes or something? I’ll be out in a minute.”

There’s a long pause before Kihyun speaks again, the concern still present in his voice as he says kindly. “All right, well, let me know if you need anything, okay?”

“Okay,” Minhyuk says, trying very hard to ignore how the very idea of Kihyun fussing over him and _caring_ was _doing_ things to him and -

God fucking damn it. He is so, so fucked.

* * *

**Minhyuk :D 10:26 am**

Hyungwon

i fucked up

i can’t do this

**wonnie**

if you burned down my kitchen i swear to god

**Minhyuk :D**

it’s not your kitchen

it’s Kihyun

Hyungwon i think i like him

**wonnie**

okay well

minhyuk i don’t know how to say this nicely but

no fucking shit

**Minhyuk :D**

shut up

i’m going to die

**wonnie**

we all knew this was coming

**Minhyuk :D**

you don’t UNDERSTAND

he made me breakfast and smiled at me when he handed me pancakes and i died

then i said something stupid and he giggled and i almost went into cardiac arrest

i’m so fucked

**wonnie**

oh wow

wait did you stay the night over there???

**Minhyuk :D**

we watched a movie and fell asleep on the couch

nothing happened

except me getting punched in the face with all these fucking FEELINGS

**wonnie**

oh boy

you’re really in that deep aren’t you?

**Minhyuk :D**

yup i’m gonna die

**wonnie**

ok

putting aside how fuckin weird it is for me that you went and fell for my _neighbor_ of all people

have you considered like

talking to him about it?

**Minhyuk :D**

talking about it? never heard of her

why did i have a feeling you’d say that

**wonnie**

maybe because it’s good advice?

that’s typically how communication works

for someone who likes talking so much, you sure don’t like talking about important stuff

**Minhyuk :D**

hey have you talked to Changkyun yet

**wonnie**

...he may or may not be on a train to come here right now

because hyunwoo is a fucking traitor

but that’s beside the point

don’t change the subject

**Minhyuk :D**

HE FUCKING WHAT

dude i’m going to GRILL you for the hot deets as soon as i’m over panicking about my imminent death by feelings

uuuuuuugh

**wonnie**

have fun

also i’m telling Jooheon

**Minhyuk :D**

do NOT tell jooheon

**wonnie**

too late

* * *

**Minhyuk :D**

Jooheon

Jooheon listen to me

Hyungwon is a liar

don’t listen to ANYTHING he says at all ever

**honey boy**

Stop!

Before going any further, please make your donation to the Jooheon Is Always Right Foundation

Donations are accepted in: Cash, Compliments, and Open Admittance that Jooheon Is Always Right

**Minhyuk :D**

GOD DAMN IT

JOOHEON PLEASE

**honey boy**

Stop!

Before going any further, please make your donation to the Jooheon Is Always Right Foundation

**Minhyuk :D**

OH MY GOD FINE

YOU’RE RIGHT OKAY I’M WHIPPED FOR KIHYUN

I’M SO FUCKING WHIPPED WHAT DO I DO

**honey boy**

Thank you for your donation to the Jooheon Is Always Right Foundation

**Minhyuk :D**

you’re useless

**honey boy**

lmaoooooo

tbh i’m just glad the denial phase didn’t last any longer than it did

**Minhyuk :D**

hardy har

now please

**honey boy**

you could like

tell him

like, you know, a human person

**Minhyuk :D**

at what point did i EVER say that i’m a human person

**honey boy**

point taken

you could like

tell him

like, you know, a minhyuk

actually never mind that’s a terrible idea

**Minhyuk :D**

...

actually

fuck it

you’re right

I’m just gonna go for it

no waiting, pining, all that dumb shit

i’m gonna go for it like a Minhyuk

I’m just gonna flirt with kihyun’s stupid face and see what happens

**honey boy**

i literally just told you that’s a terrible idea

also according to hyungwon’s screenshots you were just saying you were gonna die

where’d all the confidence come from?? lmao

**Minhyuk :D**

Hahaha well!!! You see!!!

I am Lee Minhyuk and I will get the boy of my dreams!!!

Nobody can stop me!!!

**honey boy**

...wait

oh fuck

Minhyuk

**Minhyuk :D**

Gotta go bye!!!

**honey boy**

Minhyuk

you’re terrified, aren’t you?

**Minhyuk :D**

I don’t know what you’re talking about bye!!!

* * *

Minhyuk’s hand hovers over Kihyun’s door, and he refuses to acknowledge the slight tremor that has started up sometime between his last text to Jooheon and his short walk over to Kihyun’s. Jooheon is wrong, he has to be. Minhyuk isn’t afraid - he’s flirted his way into the bedrooms of any number of people that were hopelessly out of his league, so he can definitely flirt with Kihyun just as well.

Right?

But those people were one-night stands, and Kihyun is something else. Kihyun is someone he pesters in the car, that he actually _enjoys_ cooking with, that is just as addicted to being shitty at video games as he is, who has melded into his daily routine so fast that Minhyuk doesn’t really know what to do about it -

_You’re terrified, aren’t you?_

Jooheon’s text is burned into his mind and he shakes his head to clear it, gearing up to actually, finally knock, when -

“Are you going to just stand at my door or what?”

Minhyuk definitely, definitely does not give an undignified squeak when Kihyun’s voice materializes behind him, with the other man looking amused with his arms full of groceries. Despite his shaky confidence, Minhyuk’s heart lurches - see, this was exactly the domestic shit that he wasn’t prepared for, that he had never dealt with, that he didn’t have the faintest idea how to handle.

Maybe Jooheon was right, he thinks, then immediately tells his brain to shut the fuck up.

Before he can really think through what he was doing, he lurches forward, grasping at all the grocery bags in Kihyun’s hands. Kihyun is so taken off guard - “Minhyuk what the fuck-” that he doesn’t have enough time to protest and within a moment Minhyuk stands there, awkwardly, his arms now full of bags he had just near wrestled out of Kihyun’s hands.

Kihyun stares at him. Minhyuk stares back.

“Why did you just steal my-”

“I’m helping you carry groceries!” Minhyuk blurts, interrupting whatever Kihyun was about to say. “They looked heavy! So I’m helping! Hi you look nice today!”

Kihyun stares at him incomprehendingly and Minhyuk slaps a bright smile on his face, trying to mask the increasing volume in which his brain was screaming at him to _shut the fuck up._ “Thank...you?” Kihyun finally says, and Minhyuk lets out a breath he wasn’t even aware he was holding. Kihyun squints at him. “Are you feeling okay?”

“I’m feeling great!” Minhyuk chirps in a borderline shriek.

Kihyun raises a single eyebrow. Minhyuk’s brain has now shorted out into white noise, static, and screaming as he keeps smiling in a way he desperately hopes hasn’t slipped into “creepy” territory, but probably has.

But if Kihyun has noticed anything out of the ordinary, he seems to have decided to let it slide. “All right, then, you can also help me put them away,” he says, shaking his head and letting a small smile tug at the side of his mouth.

“Okay,” Minhyuk says, his voice still pitched a bit higher than it probably should be.

He obediently follows Kihyun into the house, where Kihyun immediately begins issuing him instructions on where everything in the grocery bags were supposed to go. His nerves have finally begun to calm down, thankfully - he doesn’t need another moment of running away into the living room screeching.

Too calm, maybe, because when the panic has faded and Minhyuk has gotten used to being in Kihyun’s presence again - when Kihyun begins to hum as he sorts through the vegetables, when Minhyuk bumps into him on the way to the cupboard and Kihyun purposefully bumps into him on his way back, shooting him a cheeky grin - Minhyuk’s chest doesn’t clench in panic anymore, but instead blooms into an affectionate warmth.

It’s domestic - so incredibly domestic, the sort of thing that people who have been living together for years achieve. Somehow, despite only knowing him for not much more than a week, Kihyun has carved a place into Minhyuk’s life more quickly and easily than he’s even realized.

He does, however, feel a twist of panic when he happens to glance at the clock. “Fuck, I need to go to work, I’m going to be late!” He curses, scrambling to put away the last of Kihyun’s groceries.

“Whoa, hey, I’ll get these, don’t worry about it,” Kihyun laughs, and his eyes turn into little crescents and Minhyuk feels the rush of affection again as he hurriedly thanks Kihyun and turns to sprint out the door, back to Hyungwon’s to grab his stuff, and tears off to the bus station.

As he sits on the bus, however, he keeps replaying the moment in his head - how, as soon as Kihyun laughed, all Minhyuk had wanted to do was kiss him, and the nerves start to crawl back.

He is so, so fucked.

* * *

“Okay, Minhyuk, based on the evidence I’m pretty sure we can conclude that you’re the worst flirt that has ever lived.” Jooheon says firmly. It’s the afternoon following the grocery disaster, and Minhyuk is beginning to panic at how rapidly the day of Hyungwon’s return is approaching. As usual, Jooheon has been subjected to his dramatics.

“He didn’t kick me out, so I think that’s progress,” Minhyuk says, trying to make his voice sound hopeful. “And he let me help him put the stuff away, and it was nice. It was really nice.”

Jooheon gives him a _look_ over the americano he’s in the process of making. “You’re really in deep, aren’t you?”

Minhyuk rolls his eyes. “At least I made an attempt at flirting instead of panicking and running away screaming this time.”

“You literally ripped the groceries out of his own two hands under the guise of ‘helping.’ Minhyuk, it’s okay, we’re all friends here, you can admit that you’re a disaster.”

“I am _not_ a disaster!” Minhyuk declares, offended.

Jooheon shoots him another, even more withering look. “Minhyuk.”

“I might be a little bit of a disaster,” Minhyuk amends.

“Well, you’re going to have another chance at it now, from the looks of it,” Jooheon says, inclining his head to the door.

Minhyuk’s stomach drops as he turns to look just in time to see the familiar sight of Kihyun exiting his car and making his way into the shop, and his warm fuzzies from the day before are already melting back into panic. “Fuck, Jooheon, hide me, pretend I’m not here!” he hisses, scrambling to hide himself behind Jooheon before ducking to crouch underneath the counter.

“He definitely already saw you,” Jooheon says mildly as the door gives the telltale chime of opening to welcome a new customer. “I’m not going to bail you out of this one, my friend.”

Minhyuk tries very hard not to curse Jooheon out of existence, but nonetheless slowly stands back up as Kihyun approaches the cash register.

He instructs his jittering nerves and hammering heart to die in a ditch as he says, “Welcome to Spotlight Cafe!” in his most cheery voice. Kihyun raises an eyebrow. _Shit, he’s already suspicious_.

“Hello, Minhyuk,” Kihyun says. “Care to explain why you were trying to hide behind the counter when I walked in?”

He hears Jooheon explode into snickers behind him, and files away five more ways to murder him into the back of his mind. “No reason!” He says, then curses himself again when it comes out in an abnormally high pitched tone yet again.

Kihyun’s eyebrows are quickly reaching orbit. “All right, so is there a reason that Jooheon is staring at us like that?”

Minhyuk doesn’t even need to turn around to get an idea of the kind of look that Jooheon is giving them, and out of the corner of his eye he can faintly see him starting to wave his arms in an attempt to communicate _something._ He resolutely ignores it. “I think he’s just had too much caffeine today.”

Kihyun snorts, before doing that little half smile that has no right to affect Minhyuk as much as it does (somehow, realizing that he has feelings for Kihyun has amplified the way everything he does affects him by ten). “Well, in any case, thanks for your help with the groceries yesterday, it was really nice of you. What was the occasion?” he asks, tilting his head and looking at Minhyuk with curious eyes.

Minhyuk can feel the panic rising again, and he desperately tries to shove it down. “Um. I felt like it?”

Then he hears Jooheon snort behind him, and suddenly remembers what he told him the previous day. That he would go for it. Say something. Flirt like a Minhyuk.

So, before he can stop to think (and potentially regret this decision), Minhyuk takes a deep breath and leans one elbow onto the counter, the other hand on his hip in an attempt to look suave. “But you know, what, Kihyun? You’re a nine, but I’m the one you need.”

Kihyun stares at him as if he just grew a second head. Jooheon is cackling behind him. Minhyuk can feel his soul physically leaving his body.

“Minhyuk, what the fuck,” Kihyun starts.

Minhyuk interrupts him, desperately trying to salvage what dignity he has left. “Anyway what coffee do you want to order today -”

“I’m definitely a ten already.” Kihyun finishes.

Jooheon _explodes_ into laughter, then slaps a hand over his mouth in an attempt to stifle it. Minhyuk is already planning about ten more ways to murder Jooheon when he moves back into the apartment, but right now the problem is the fact that _those actual words just left Kihyun’s mouth._

Kihyun holds Minhyuk’s eye contact for a whole ten seconds before his eyes suddenly widen and his mouth drops open in shock. “Oh. _Oh._ So _that’s_ what’s happening here. Okay. Um.” Kihyun’s clearly scrambling for something to say, rubbing his hand on the back of his neck as Minhyuk desperately tries to figure out what the fuck is happening.

“Oh!” Kihyun says, after an agonizing few seconds of Minhyuk trying to avoid a mental breakdown, “Um, okay, uh, if you were a vegetable, you’d be a cute-cumber?”

There’s a beat of silence where Minhyuk freezes, trying to comprehend the words that just left Kihyun’s mouth.

Jooheon, eyes wide, says simply, “Well, that’s not good.”

And then Minhyuk turns, sprints into Hyunwoo’s office (who looks up in shock at the sudden intrusion) and screams into one of Hyunwoo’s decorative pillows.

(He’s really got to stop screaming into pillows).

Jooheon pokes his head into the office after a moment. “You two are the worst flirts that I’ve ever seen in my life.” He deadpans. “Also, Kihyun just sprinted out of the shop. I think I can hear him screaming outside. The customers are giving us weird looks.”

Minhyuk groans miserably into the decorative cushion.

* * *

**kihyunnie**

Hyunwoo

i want to die

I’m holding my funeral as we speak

I can never look minhyuk in the eye again

**dad**

lol

**kihyunnie**

IS THAT SERIOUSLY ALL YOU HAVE TO SAY

I’M GOING TO FUCKING DIE FROM EMBARRASSMENT

**dad**

if it makes you feel better Minhyuk is also having a mental breakdown

**kihyunnie**

are you serious?

what’s he saying?

nevermind i don’t want to know

i’m just going to dig my grave now

bye

**dad**

wow

i thought minhyuk was the dramatic one

**kihyunnie**

SHUT UP

dying now bye see you never

* * *

“Hyunwoo, I’m going to die.” Minhyuk groans from his position lying on the office floor. A full hour has passed since the disastrous attempts at pick-up lines, and Minhyuk still hasn’t mustered the will to leave Hyunwoo’s office.

“You can’t stay in my office forever, you know.” Hyunwoo says, amused. He’s at his desk, doing a fantastic job of ignoring Minhyuk’s endless suffering.

He isn’t going to let that stop his whining, though. “It’s official. Kihyun doesn’t like me, he actually _hates_ me and wants me to die a slow, painful death by cucumber.”

“I think he just panicked,” Hyunwoo says soothingly. “And, in the heat of the moment, he also probably forgot how much you hate cucumbers.”

“No, he just hates me.” Minhyuk says pitifully. “I can never look him in the eye again. I have to move to a remote island and never show my face in society now. Goodbye, world.”

“There, there.” Hyunwoo says dutifully. He hears the unmistakable sound of Hyunwoo snapping a picture (he never figured out how to turn the sound effect off on his phone, somehow), but Minhyuk can’t bring himself to care.

Jooheon pokes his head into the office. “Minhyuk, stop wallowing in self-pity and help me, please, the lunch rush is here and I’m dying a little.”

“I’m dying a lot.” Minhyuk whimpers.

“Oh my god stop _whining -_ ”

“This is the end for me.” Minhyuk sighs dramatically. “Leave me here to die.”

“Minhyuk, as entertaining as your dramatics are, you are technically still on the clock.” Hyunwoo says with amusement. He’s now tapping away on his phone, most likely broadcasting his misery to the world.

“I’m taking a sick day to throw myself off a cliff.” Minhyuk announces.

He can almost hear Jooheon rolling his eyes. “Stop being a baby, oh my _god_ -”

“All of my employees are children.” Hyunwoo sighs. He finally stands up and walks over to where Minhyuk is lying on the floor and physically lifts him into a standing position, dragging him towards the office door. “Up you go, time to work.”

“You don’t control me.” Minhyuk whines limply.

“I’m your boss, so I technically do. Go to work.”

“Ugh, fine, _dad-_ ”

“Good work, son.” Hyunwoo says, before giving him a hearty shove out the door.

Minhyuk, in a prime display of maturity, sticks his tongue out at Hyunwoo before turning to join Jooheon with handling the lunch rush.

“You know,” Jooheon says, as Minhyuk finally rejoins him at the cash register. “Even if his chosen pickup line was in _incredibly_ bad taste, that _does_ mean that he figured out you were flirting and tried to flirt back. Key word being ‘tried’, but still.”

Minhyuk pauses, pondering this point. “Holy shit, I think you’re right.”

“That’s the spirit,” Jooheon says, patting him on the shoulder. “Now fucking help me, please, before I die under the pile of coffees I’m supposed to make.”

Minhyuk rolls his eyes, but nonetheless steps up to help Jooheon out.

* * *

By the time he returns home, he’s spent a good few hours turning the day’s events over in his head. He’s carefully blocked most of the shitty pickup lines out of his memory, of course, but, as much as he hates to admit it, Jooheon has a point - Kihyun tried to flirt back.

Or he was just projecting, and Kihyun was doing this in an elaborate scheme to mess with him. Hyungwon did tell Minhyuk to inform Kihyun that he’s an asshole for a reason, of course.

Despite his bits of hope, there’s still that bit of panic - the panic that seizes him every time he tries to actually step up and say something to Kihyun. He can’t seem to shake it.

He’s flopped down onto the couch, idly scratching Kkukkungie’s head and trying very hard not to overthink his situation when his phone buzzes next to him.

**9:36pm wonnie**

hey

guess what i did

**Minhyuk :D**

bought a house in new york so now your house here is mine and i can stay here forever?

**wonnie**

what

no

changkyun got here yesterday

i talked to him

and uh

we’re kind of together now?

**Minhyuk :D**

WHAT

OH MY GOD

CONGRATULATIONS IT’S ABOUT FUCKING TIME YOU DINGUS

**wonnie**

oh my god

thanks???

but yeah no it was

it was really good

fuck i can’t stop smiling my face hurts

is this normal?????

we still need to talk about how we’ll manage a long distance relationship

but he really wants to try

he’s wanted it as long as i have

minhyuk I can’t believe this is real

**Minhyuk :D**

I was going to make fun of you for it taking so long

but also like

I’m really really happy for you, wonnie

god you’re adorable

**wonnie**

i’m not adorable shut up

how’s it going over there by the way?

fuck i’m probably gonna have to change kkukkungie’s name

**Minhyuk :D**

lmaooooo yeah it was already weird that you named kkukkungie after him

but now it’s extra weird

and it’s been going ok

**wonnie**

just ok?

did something happen in the singular day since we last talked?

**Minhyuk :D**

hah

well you see

I tried to do the flirting thing

it didn’t work

**wonnie**

no shit my dude

i’ve seen you flirt, it’s a mess

**Minhyuk :D**

yeah well

uh

jooheon made an observation that i can’t stop thinking about

**wonnie**

which is?

**Minhyuk :D**

I’m fucking terrified, Hyungwon

**_Incoming call - wonnie_ **

_click._

“Hello?”

“ _Talk_ ,” Hyungwon’s voice rang out from the phone, echoing in the dark living room.

Minhyuk sighs. “Well, it’s what I said, isn’t it? I’m scared, Hyungwon. I’ll be leaving your house in like, two days, right? And then I won’t be able to see him anymore.”

“ _That’s dumb,_ ” Hyungwon says. “ _He’s not gonna like, die. You’ll still be able to hang out with him and shit. You still hung out with me, even when I wasn’t living down the hall in the dorms with you and Jooheon anymore_.”

“Yeah, well, it won’t be the same, will it? I won’t be able to just walk and knock on his door. Going to see him will take _effort,_ and what if he doesn’t want to make that effort anymore after I leave? What if I’m just a convenient distraction for him?”

A sigh escapes the phone. “ _I really don’t think that’s the case. At least not based on what I’ve heard from Jooheon._ ”

Minhyuk snorts. “Have you all been secretly keeping tabs on my love life?”

“ _Yes_. _There’s a group chat._ ”

“Christ,” Minhyuk scrubs a hand over his face. “I just....I’m not used to this, you know? Usually when I fall for people it’s easy, it’s someone I’ve never met before and if I’m rejected it doesn’t really matter, but this...it _matters._ I can actually _see_ myself with him, like, cooking or cleaning or doing just all that domestic shit. That makes it so, so much worse because there’s so much more to lose, and I’ve known him for less than two weeks. How does this happen?”

There’s silence from the end of the phone - Minhyuk almost wonders if Hyungwon’s connection cut out when he finally speaks again. “ _You know that’s how I felt with Changkyun, right?_ ”

“This is different,” Minhyuk starts, but Hyungwon cuts him off.

“ _No, it really isn’t. You’re afraid because change is coming and you’re worried it’ll change everything for the worse, yeah? That’s how I felt before Changkyun left. I was so fucking afraid that him moving away would end everything and I wouldn’t ever see him again, and I didn’t want to confess and make it worse.”_

“Really?” Minhyuk had known the basics of Hyungwon’s refusal to say anything to Changkyun, but he’d never opened up about it like this.

“ _Yeah. But you know what that did? It just left both of us to suffer and pretend we didn’t feel the way we felt._ ”

“I just,” Minhyuk pauses and swallows. “I want to keep it like this forever. I want to be able to knock on his door whenever I want. I miss seeing him all the time and I haven’t even moved back in with Jooheon yet.”

“ _Change is inevitable, Minhyuk._ ” Hyungwon’s voice has gone soft. “ _It’ll happen whether you like it or not. What matters is that you figure out how to manage it, and that you move forward with it.”_

Minhyuk deflates. “Yeah, I guess you’re right,” he sighs. “Hey, Hyungwon?”

_“Yeah?”_

“You’re one of my best friends, you know that?”

 _“And you’re one of mine,”_ Hyungwon replies, and Minhyuk can hear the smile in his voice. _“Say something to Kihyun, okay? I give him a lot of shit, and he did threaten to call the cops for a noise complaint one too many times, but if he makes you happy then he’s good enough for me.”_

Minhyuk remembers the cooking sessions with Kihyun, laughing until he can’t breathe, the shitty insults and the sense of comfort and - “He does.” Minhyuk says. “He does make me happy. I’ll do my best.”

* * *

Minhyuk stares at the bags piled as his feet. The bags stare back - or at least they would, if they had eyes.

Hyungwon is due to arrive back that night, and he still hasn’t said anything to Kihyun.

It wasn’t for lack of trying - he’s gone over to his house for dinner, and Kihyun has visited the cafe, but there’s an odd sense of tension, as if they’re both waiting for something to happen but aren’t quite ready to make it happen for real.

He hates it. And he’s also cursing himself for chickening out, every goddamn time, and now time was up.

Kkukkungie whines and scratches at the door, snapping Minhyuk out of his staring contest with his duffle bags. “Do you need to go out?” he asks the dog, who whines and scratches at the door again.

Minhyuk huffs a laugh, then scratches Kkukkungie’s ears and goes to retrieve his leash.

As soon as he leaves the house, he hears a familiar voice call out to him. He looks up and sees Kihyun, waving from his own front door.

“Hey,” Minhyuk calls back, waving and grinning. His grin fades a bit as it hits him again - this is the last day - and then calls out, “Wanna come to the park with me and Kkukkungie?”

He can see Kihyun smile and give him a thumbs up before disappearing into the house for a moment, only to reappear with a different pair of shoes and a bright smile.

Minhyuk’s heart is doing that _thing_ again. He instructs it to stop that bullshit right this second.

“Today’s my last day here,” Minhyuk says, as soon as Kihyun joins him and Kkukkungie. “Hyungwon comes back tonight. It feels weird, don’t you think?”

Kihyun starts, looking at him with wide eyes. “Are you serious?”

“Yeah, time flies.”

Kihyun is quiet for a moment, and Minhyuk hates that he can already feel the awkwardness threatening to creep back in. “It sure does,” he finally says. “You’re going to be moving back in with Jooheon, yeah?”

“Yup,” Minhyuk says, swallowing the lump in his throat. He tries very hard not to think too hard. “Anyway. Um, do you ever think about outer space?”

Kihyun snorts and rolls his eyes. “Minhyuk, the way your brain works is a mystery to me. And yeah, I do think about it sometimes. Black holes and shit.”

Minhyuk breathes a bit - distraction successful - and launches into a rant about aliens.

They go to the park - the same one Minhyuk got lost in two weeks ago, and Kihyun had to rescue him from. The one where it all started, Minhyuk’s dramatic brain adds. The one where -

 _It’s not that big of a deal_ , Minhyuk snaps at his brain.

The longer they walk, the more Minhyuk’s nerves feel like they’re eating him alive - he’s trying to keep the conversation going, changing the subject and blabbering about something dumb that Hoseok did during their shift the other day, about how boring his classes are, oh man isn’t Kkukkungie cute when he’s playing with that stick he found? But his heart isn’t really in it, and, despite his enthusiasm when he first joined their walk, Kihyun is oddly quiet.

They manage to walk all the way back to Kihyun’s house standing between their respective yards, and Minhyuk is going on about something he read about dwarf stars on Wikipedia when Kihyun says, “Is that all you wanted to say, then?”

Minhyuk feels it again, feels that strange tension that means they’re not talking about the same thing but god damn it he doesn’t know what to do about it. He knows he should say how he feels, he really does, but... “I want to stay in touch,” he blurts, and then curses himself because it’s so _mild_ and it’s so _basic_ and not remotely close to all of the things he wants to say.

He tries again. “I mean, I enjoyed the past two weeks. Really. I want to keep talking to you. I want - I want,” the words die in his throat, and Kihyun’s eyes are burning into him and he can’t quite get his thoughts sorted into words.

“I want,” Kihyun begins, then clears his throat. “I’d like to keep in touch too,” he says, and Minhyuk _aches_ because there’s so much going unsaid, he can _feel_ the tension building but the words are stuck in his throat and they won’t come out no matter how hard he tries.

“I’d like that,” Minhyuk says, finally. Then, in a burst of desperate energy, says, “Actually, do you want to-”

His words are interrupted by his phone suddenly blasting his stupidly loud ringtone - a ringtone that he’d picked after he and Kihyun blasted the song in his kitchen for the umpteenth time, a thought that made a lump rise in his throat when he pulled his phone out of his pocket and saw an incoming call from Hyungwon.

“Um.” Minhyuk says awkwardly, holding up his phone. “I should probably take this.”

“Go ahead,” Kihyun says, huffing a small laugh and avoiding Minhyuk’s eyes.

Minhyuk’s chest was constricting, but he nonetheless answered the call. “Hey, what’s up?”

_“You’ve got about fifteen minutes before I’m back at the house. Did you say anything to Kihyun yet?”_

“Um, no.” Minhyuk says, sneaking a side glance to where Kihyun had now squatted to scratch Kkukkungie’s ears. “I’m working on it.”

_“Work on it faster, and if I come back and the house is a mess I’ll never stop giving you shit for it.”_

“Um. Trying.” Minhyuk says. He swallows hard. “Can I hang up now?”

_“Sure. See you in a few.”_

“Yup.” Minhyuk opens his mouth to say something more before closing it, and the other end of the line goes dead before he has the chance to hang up himself.

Kihyun straightens back up, brushing off something invisible from his shirt. “I take it Hyungwon’s just about back?”

“Yup,” Minhyuk swallows, his throat dry. “He’ll be back in about fifteen minutes.”

His burst of courage before Hyungwon called is gone, leaving him floundering once more. He’s stupid terrified, and Kihyun already said he wanted to stay in touch, right? What if he says something wrong and messes it up for good?

“All right.” Kihyun says. He’s still not quite looking Minhyuk in the eyes, and the tone of the conversation makes Minhyuk want to crawl out of his skin.

Talking about serious things was always one of Minhyuk’s weakest points - he always talked around it, or talked over it, or said as many words as possible to avoid the problem altogether. But this was a new kind of problem - they were saying words, sure, but they were flimsy, plastic words, the kind exchanged by acquaintances who didn’t have much to say to each other but had to make small talk anyway.

It was nothing like the other conversations they’ve had - the kind where they’d be laughing about stupid stories Minhyuk would tell, or Kihyun would relay the weird shit that art students got up to when there were too many of them left alone together for too long, or they were just bickering over the tiniest, pettiest thing imagineable.

This wasn’t it. This was a flimsy shield trying to cover an ocean of unspoken emotions, unspoken words, and yet Minhyuk couldn’t quite bring himself to break through those words of plastic when the ocean beneath was too deep, too tumultuous, too terrifying.

So he says, “I’ll see you around.”

Kihyun gives him a small smile. “I’ll see you around.”

* * *

**kihyuk intervention squad**

**honey boy**

guys

minhyuk has been blasting sad taylor swift for 3 days

if i have to hear teardrops on my guitar ONE MORE TIME

**wonnie**

oh for fucks sake

has he still not said anything to kihyun?

**honey boy**

NOPE

I WANNA DIE

**hoseok**

yeah and kihyun hasn’t come to the coffee shop for a few days either

it’s weird

**wonnie**

god damn it

**dad**

any updates on your end, hyungwon?

**wonnie**

nope

i mean i haven’t really talked to kihyun

honestly i have no idea how to approach the topic

“hi, i accidentally set you up with my best friend by having him tell you that you’re an asshole, and you’re still definitely an asshole but please talk to him before he kills us with his moping”?

**honey boy**

yes please say exactly that

**wonnie**

absolutely not

they can handle this like adults

**dad**

...

**hoseok**

um

**honey boy**

...you are aware this is minhyuk we’re talking about

**wonnie**

fuck

they’re doomed

**changkyunnie**

guys

i miss you and i love you

(especially hyungwon but don’t tell him i said that)

but can you not blow up my phone at what is 3am for me

**hoseok**

awwwwwwwww you guys are so cute

**dad**

you could try putting it on silent mode?

**honey boy**

honestly changkyun i don’t know how you expect us to shut up

at all

ever

**wonnie**

changkyun you’re too good for these idiots

also please go back to sleep you probably need it

**changkyunnie**

ugh fine

keep me updated on the hot goss tho

tell hyungwon i love him

**wonnie**

i’m RIGHT HERE

(<3)

**honey boy**

GET THAT SAPPY SHIT OUTTA HERE

**dad**

actually

i have a confession to make

**changkyunnie**

you’re actually my biological father from another dimension

**honey boy**

changkyun what the fuck

go to SLEEP

anyway continue hyunwoo

**wonnie**

does it have to do with the ongoing kihyuk disaster

**dad**

yes

you know how kihyun was a photographer at an event i was at?

**honey boy**

ya

**wonnie**

this is news to me but go on

**dad**

point is he has my number

and has also been moping into my inbox

for a week straight

**wonnie**

excuse me what

**changkyunnie**

honestly i have no idea how you all expect me to sleep with all this spicy gossip happening

**wonnie**

SLEEP, CHANGKYUN

anyway hyunwoo please continue

**dad**

i mean there isn’t much more to say

kihyun reciprocates minhyuk’s feelings but i get the feeling we already knew that

**honey boy**

i wish i could say i’m surprised but

**dad**

also this should probably go without saying

but don’t tell minhyuk

**wonnie**

i mean you could continue your streak of being a dirty rotten traitor and drop the screenshots in minhyuk’s inbox

that’s an option

**changkyunnie**

wait when was hyunwoo a dirty rotten traitor

**wonnie**

don’t worry about it

**dad**

i mean that situation did work out for the best, didn’t it?

maybe it’s not a bad idea

**honey boy**

nope

i disagree

as much as i want this bullshit to be over

minhyuk kinda really needs to figure out how to step up for himself for once

as his platonic soulmate it is my duty to make sure he doesn’t get off easy for this

**wonnie**

an inspiring speech, truly

in any case

...hold up

someone just rang my doorbell??

**hoseok**

seriously?

**honey boy**

probably a murderer

**wonnie**

gimme a sec hold on

**honey boy**

that’s weird

none of us would ring the doorbell we’d just bust in like the monsters we are

and i’m 99% sure hyungwon doesn’t have any other friends

**changkyunnie**

normally i’d object to you dragging my boyfriend like that

but also you’re absolutely correct

**honey boy**

you’re really gonna stay up through all of this huh

**changkyunnie**

meh sleep is for losers

**hoseok**

anyone wanna make bets on who it is?

i’m guessing.....kihyun

**changkyunnie**

it’s the police, here to arrest him for being too beautiful

**honey boy**

god changkyun you guys are disgusting

i’m sticking to my original bet of “murderer”

**dad**

i’m kinda on hoseok’s side on this one

it would make a nice plot twist, don’t you think?

**changkyunnie**

well it’s been a whole five minutes

i might change to favor jooheon’s bet of “murderer”

**honey boy**

we’ll have to go on the hunt

avenge hyungwon’s death

who’s with me

**wonnie**

god you all are ridiculous

**changkyunnie**

HE’S ALIVE

**honey boy**

quick scroll up we gotta know who won the bet

**wonnie**

hoseok won

it was kihyun

and things are about to get interesting

* * *

It’s exactly 2:36pm when someone knocks on the apartment door, three sharp raps that cause Jooheon to yelp and Minhyuk to give an entirely undignified shriek.

There’s silence for a few moments. Minhyuk exchanges a dubious look with Jooheon - as far as he knows, neither of them were expecting anyone to show up today, and they weren’t even being noisy enough to attract disgruntled neighbors.

And, for some reason, the knock strikes Minhyuk as strangely familiar.

Then, just as Minhyuk was about to dismiss the knocker as some sort of joint hallucination, there’s another sharp rapping at the door - Minhyuk, with an odd twist and jump in his stomach, realizes why the pattern seemed familiar.

That’s Kihyun’s knock.

Shakily, he stands up and goes to the door - ignoring Jooheon’s gestured protests that it could be a murderer - and peers through the peephole to see, yup, that’s Yoo Kihyun standing outside of his apartment door, shifting from foot to foot and looking...nervous?

Minhyuk takes a deep, deep breath (trying and failing to calm down his thundering heartbeat) before throwing the open the door. “Kihyun? What are you doing here?”

In the background, he hears Jooheon gasp and mumble something resembling “Oh _shit”_ under his breath.

And there he was, Yoo Kihyun in the flesh. He looks Minhyuk square in the eyes (although Minhyuk can see the flush of red on his face, which shouldn’t be endearing but is, god damn it) and says “Come with me.”

“Is this a kidnapping?” Minhyuk says, grasping for straws and trying to ignore the rising hope and panic that was rising in his chest.

Kihyun shoots him a withering look and seizes his wrist, dragging him out of the apartment and down the hall. “Yes. We’re going to my car, and we’re going to talk.”

* * *

After at least a full minute of silence while Kihyun is driving, Minhyuk finally speaks. “So...where are we going?” He says. His voice comes out much tinier than he intended it to.

Kihyun’s hands are gripping the steering wheel so hard that his knuckles had turned white. He says, in a voice that comes out much higher pitched than usual, “The park.”

Minhyuk blinks, surprised. “The one by Hyungwon’s house?” Also known as, the one that they’d gone to, on the day Minhyuk tried and failed to say what his true feelings were.

“Yes.” Kihyun grinds out through gritted teeth.

“Ah.” Minhyuk says, then falls silent.

The silence that fell over them during the rest of the drive was near unbearable - Minhyuk can’t stop squirming, and Kihyun’s grip on the steering wheel never loosened, but despite it all Minhyuk couldn’t find the words that could get past the ever-growing lump in his throat.

It’s almost a relief when they finally park the car - and then Kihyun seizes Minhyuk’s hand (which isn’t _strictly_ necessary and Minhyuk really hopes that he can’t feel how sweaty it is, but he won’t complain) and pulls him into the park, clearly on the hunt for somewhere to talk.

Finally, they reach a secluded section of the park and Kihyun finally drops Minhyuk’s hand, turning around and facing him with steely determination in his eyes. “So. Last time we came here there were a lot of things we didn’t say.”

“Um,” Minhyuk says.

“Don’t interrupt.” Kihyun squints. “And, listen, I might be going insane, but I get the feeling that you were trying to tell me something and that _I_ was trying to tell you the same thing, but we both clammed up because we’re pathetic and terrible at this. Am I wrong?”

There’s hope, rising in Minhyuk’s chest, and he’s not sure if he should shove it down or not. So for now, he just answers Kihyun truthfully. “No. No, you’re not wrong.”

“Right,” Kihyun says. “So I came back here, and I brought you with me, and we’re going to say the things we tried to say and do it right this time. Got it?”

“Got it,” Minhyuk says faintly.

Kihyun stares at him expectantly, and he suddenly realizes that he’s waiting for him to say something.

“Um.” Minhyuk says. Swallows. Starts again.

“Um, I wanted to say that, uh, I meant what I said, that I really want to stay in contact. And I guess... I didn’t really expect you to become so important to me so fast, and it kind of scared me, and I panicked. I was scared of messing up.”

“Minhyuk-”

“Shh, I need to keep talking or I’ll lose my nerve, shut up,” Minhyuk snaps. “Um, anyway you have a nice face and I kinda really wanna kiss it please go on a date with me.”

The last few words came out in a mumbled rush, Minhyuk staring resolutely at the ground and trying to hide his burning face.

"Minhyuk," Kihyun says.

Minhyuk covers his face with his hands.

"Minhyuk," he says again, stepping a bit closer. "It's okay. You don't have to be scared. I just - um. You okay?"

"Dragging me here and forcing me to confess is a little bit nerve wracking, my dude."

Kihyun huffs a laugh at that. "Yeah, you're probably right, I just - I knew that something was up and I couldn't take it anymore. Too much went unsaid last time. I figured maybe a second time around might be able to make it a bit better."

Minhyuk freezes. "Wait. You knew?"

"You're not subtle." Kihyun says, his ears a little pink as he rubs the back of his neck. 

“Kihyun,” Minhyuk said, his voice definitely not several pitches higher than normal. “Do you mean to tell me that you knew? You _knew_?”

“Minhyuk,” Kihyun says, in a voice of exaggerated calm. “I’ve been trying to hide my own massively out-of-control crush on you for the past _three weeks,_ I have been overanalyzing your every move trying to convince myself I’m not _crazy_ , so yes, I have noticed your sudden change in behavior and the increase in flirting. I’ve been _painfully_ aware of it. Hyunwoo probably wants to kill me because I’ve been yelling in his text messages _daily_.”

“Oh.” Minhyuk says in a small voice. “Does....does that mean you like me back?”

“ _Yes!_ ” Kihyun screeches. He runs his hands through his hair, looking like he’s about to scream. “Yes, I like you back! I like you so fucking much! What the fuck am I doing oh my god -”

“Oh.” Minhyuk says again, and then, he does what he's been wanting to do for days.

He pulls Kihyun in and kisses him.

And Kihyun is kissing him  _back_ , and he feels like he's soaring.

When they finally break apart, they're both smiling so wide that Minhyuk feels like his face would break in half.

He grins and says, "You're still an asshole, though."

Kihyun snorts. "Same goes for you."

Minhyuk smiles again and leans forward and kisses Kihyun on the nose, just for good measure. 

* * *

**kihyuk intervention squad**

**wonnie**

hey guys

got a surprise for y’all

**honey boy**

why do i feel a sense of foreboding

_Minhyuk :D was added to the chat_

_kihyunnie was added to the chat_

**honey boy**

HYUNGWON

WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING

**Minhyuk :D**

awwwww thank you for the warm welcome jooheon <3

**hoseok**

???????

hyungwon i usually trust your judgement but like

**kihyunnie**

god

can you guys change the name of the chat

it really isn’t necessary anymore

**wonnie**

friendos

do you really think i’d do this if i didn’t have a good reason

**honey boy**

wait

“isn’t necessary anymore”?

DOES THAT MEAN

**Minhyuk :D**

Yuuuuuup!! :DDD

**wonnie**

damn right

these fuckers finally got their shit together

**kihyunnie**

excuse you

at least we didn’t give ourselves a goddamn ship name

**wonnie**

kihyuk rolls off the tongue better

**kihyunnie**

“it rolls off the tongue better” you say, as you type,

**wonnie**

actually i changed my mind i’m banning kihyun

**honey boy**

nah we should keep him

he gives you as much shit as you give us

it brings balance to the force

**Minhyuk :D**

i agree we should keep kihyun

_Chat name changed: Kihyun Is The Best :D_

**wonnie**

absolutely not

_Chat name changed: Kihyun is tolerated_

**kihyunnie**

i’ll take it

**Minhyuk :D**

you guys talked a lot in this chat lmao

i’m scrolling up through it and goddamn

**kihyunnie**

good call i’m going to do that too

**honey boy**

do NOT

**dad**

oh does this mean that kihyuk finally got together now?

**Minhyuk :D**

yup!!!!

talked everything out

turns out talking like a human person is a good way to go

**kihyunnie**

a shocking revelation, truly

**changkyunnie**

kihyun i just met you but i already approve

you shit on minhyuk just as much as the rest of us

you’ll fit in perfectly

**Minhyuk :D**

good thing the shitting comes from a place of love~

wait

that sounds weird

**kihyunnie**

i don't want to think too hard about that sentence

do you ever think for longer than two seconds about the words you say?

 

**Minhyuk :D**

nah

i gotta keep you on your toes

keeps life interesting

**kihyunnie**

yeah

it sure does :)

**honey boy**

are you guys done being sappy or

wait fuck

now we’ve got both hyungkyun and kihyuk in this chat

it’s going to just a sap fest 24/7 here isn’t it

**wonnie**

did you seriously just give me and changkyun a ship name too

**changkyunnie**

idk it kinda works don’t u think

**kihyunnie**

if minhyukkie and i get a ship name so do you two

**wonnie**

did you just call him minhyukkie

**Minhyuk :D**

!!!!!

**kihyunnie**

oh my god

i did

.....actually fuck it it's cute

minhyuk i’m changing ur contact name in my phone

**Minhyuk :D**

:D :D :D

**hoseok**

awwww

**honey boy**

okay i gotta say it

then i'm gonna go back on brand and shit on minhyuk again

but i'm really happy for you guys

**Minhyuk :D**

awwwww thanks jooheon <3

**honey boy**

okay back to the shitting on you

you're both fucking dumbasses

**kihyunnie**

you're not wrong

**Minhyuk :D**

at least we're dumbasses together <3

**wonnie**

i'm deleting this chat

**Minhyuk :D**

love you too hyungwon <3

* * *

“Jooheon was right, you two are disgusting.” Hoseok comments, sweeping past Minhyuk on his way to fulfill the next customer’s order. It’s one of the few shifts that they work together - meaning that, for once, Hoseok gets to witness Minhyuk and Kihyun’s interactions in person instead of over text.

Minhyuk turns and sticks his tongue out at him. “Not as disgusting as Kihyun’s face.”

“Now that’s an awfully rude thing to say to your loving boyfriend,” Kihyun says, an amused smirk on his face.

“Is this what Jooheon deals with every other day?” Hoseok asks, “Because if so, I understand why he yells so much now.”

"Doesn't matter," Minhyuk says breezily. He leans on the counter towards Kihyun, diverting his attention. "Kihyun, I need you to be honest with me. Who makes the best lattes, me, Jooheon, or Hoseok?"

"Is this a test of loyalty?" Kihyun asks, amused. The seat by the counter has become his default spot, and was there almost as often as Minhyuk was. It made his days just that much brighter, and Minhyuk takes every available opportunity to drag him into his petty competitions with his coworkers.

And being able to see his boyfriend is, of course, one of the best parts.

"Answer the question," Minhyuk presses.

"Don't answer," Hoseok interjects. "He always does this, don't encourage him."

"What, does he ask random customers to rate the coffee?" Kihyun asks, laughing.

"Only the cute ones," Minhyuk says, shooting him a dramatic wink.

Kihyun gives him what is probably supposed to be a withering look, but can't hide the smile that cracks through when Minhyuk wiggles his eyebrows suggestively. "You're ridiculous."

"Yeah, but you love me," Minhyuk sings brightly as he skips over to the espresso machine.

Kihyun shakes his head with a fond grin on his face. "Yeah, I guess I do, asshole."

Minhyuk can’t help but laugh - a bright, loud sound, one that makes him feel light and giddy in a way he hasn’t felt before. He looks at Kihyun again - Kihyun, who is smiling at him with such open adoration that Minhyuk can’t stop himself from leaning over the counter and dropping a kiss on his nose.

“I’m making fried chicken again tonight,” Kihyun says, once Hoseok has moved away. “If you convince me, I might be able to spare some for you.”

“You’ll spare some for me anyway,” Minhyuk says, grinning.

“Yeah and then I’ll kick your ass in whatever game you make me play this time.”

“And then you’ll cuddle with me while we watch a movie.”

Kihyun’s grin was threatening to overtake his face at this point, but that doesn’t stop him from saying cheekily, “Then, I’m going to draw a mustache on your face when you inevitably fall asleep.”

“Sounds like a plan to me,” Minhyuk says, and lets a full smile take over his face. There are still days where he can’t believe this is real - it’s been a few months since they’ve started dating, and despite everything - starting up the fall semester again, the changing of the seasons, the distance between his place and Kihyun’s and Hyungwon’s complaints that Minhyuk never visits him anymore - some things just stay the same.

So he smiles at Kihyun and says, just for good measure, “Asshole.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading! This is actually the first multichapter fic I've ever completed, believe it or not~ Thank you all for the support, and I'm definitely going to be writing much, much more kihyuk in the future (possibly even a sequel/epilogue to this, but you didn't hear that from me).
> 
> Also - [ here ](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/6JeowdxembbHpNRbDiivo9) is the playlist I made for the fic! I hope you guys enjoy ~

**Author's Note:**

> Hoooooo I'm excited for this! This'll be a three-parter, and most of the next two chapters are written so expect the next parts to be up within the next couple weeks. Hope you enjoyed!
> 
> Also, come yell with me about Kihyuk please I'm begging you  
> Twitter: @betafish_bebe  
> CC: betamaz  
> Tumblr: minhyukielee


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